


Burning Skies

by Ithiel_Dragon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, First Time, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Season/Series 01, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Romance, Serious Injuries, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9527639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithiel_Dragon/pseuds/Ithiel_Dragon
Summary: After being thrown from the wormhole mid escape Keith and Shiro end up stranded on a hostile alien world.  Keith must find a way to contact the Castle of Lions for help before the wounds Shiro received in the fight against Haggar kill him.(Rewritten)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written before Season 2 of Voltron was released. Afterwards, I went back to change a few minor details to better fit what we learned about Keith's past.

The sun was shining brightly overhead. The sky a clear crystal blue without a cloud in sight. It was a perfect summer day. The kind of day that he might have normally spent climbing rocks with his father in search of desert lizards, or exploring the vast caverns around the little house that was their home.

Instead, Keith sat at the top of a large plateau overlooking a wide canyon below. He had climbed up the steep rocky side by himself, something his father had never liked him doing alone, but he supposed it didn't really matter what his father did or didn't like him doing anymore. Considering his father was dead.

His black trousers had snagged on a sharp rock and tore a hole in his knee as well as the fabric, but the boy hardly cared about the pain or the blood dripping down his leg. The starched white shirt he wore was wrinkled, stained, and dampened with sweat. The solid black tie they'd forced him to wear had felt like a noose around his throat, yet even after he'd torn it off, the pressure around his neck didn't dissipate.

He was a long way from the small house now, yet somehow he imagined he could still hear their voices from the open windows as he'd run away.

_Such a tragic accident._

_He was so young._

_What will happen to the boy?_

The boy... he wondered if any of them even knew his name. None of them had seen Keith slip out of the house. It would probably be hours before any of them noticed he was missing. He had never met many of them, so-called friends and coworkers of his father. They'd smiled and offered meaningless condolences before all but ignoring him.

Keith hugged his knees to his chest and looked up at the sky. This had always been a peaceful spot for him. A place where he could come to be alone and think. Now he would always be alone... He stared at the sun until his eyes began to burn, and when he blinked he felt wetness on his cheeks.

No, he wasn't _actually_ crying, he told himself. It was just the sun.

He hadn't cried when the police officer had told him that his father was dead. He hadn't cried during the funeral. He hadn't cried when the social worker had come to tell him he had to live in a foster home from now on because he had no family left.

Keith scoffed. He was nine years old; he wasn't a baby anymore. He didn't need anyone to look after him.

He sniffled and dropped his forehead to rest on his knees. His eyes squeezed shut. He wasn't going to cry. At least, not where they could see.

He didn't _need_ anyone.

* * *

 

Keith's eyes snapped open to the sound of a blaring alarm and red flashing lights. His head felt like it was splitting in two, and he groaned pitifully as he carefully pushed himself up from his position slumped over the ship's control console. Nausea immediately introduced itself into his list of woes and he had to swallow several times to force the sickness back down his throat. The last thing he was going to do was pull a Hunk and puke inside his own lion. He'd never live it down if the others found out. Especially Lance.

Speaking of the others…

What the hell had happened? He remembered the fight with Zarkon. He'd been losing. Badly. But he just couldn't run away no matter what Coran said. It was more than just pride. Above all else, he couldn't let Zarkon get his hands on the Black Lion. But Coran was right, as much as Keith hated to admit it. Zarkon had been too strong and the Red Lion had taken too much damage. All he could do was watch as the Galra charged, about to finish him off. Then suddenly Shiro was there with the Black Lion. Shiro had saved him and gotten them back to the Castle of Lions. They'd started to go through the wormhole to escape when –

"Fuck…" Keith muttered under his breath as the pieces of his memory slid back into place. He'd been thrown from the ship inside the wormhole. That was not good. Not good at all.

His fingers moved over the console. First order of business, turning off that damned alarm. It wasn't doing his splitting headache any good. Once that was accomplished he went to work trying to run a diagnostic on the lion. He needed to know exactly what kind of mess he was in before he decided what his next move would be.

After a few minutes Keith slumped dejectedly in his seat. Red had been badly damaged. He'd known that much, but he hadn't thought it was quite that bad. There was no way the Red Lion would be going anywhere without some major repairs. Keith was pretty sure he didn't have what he would need to make those repairs himself, if he even had any idea where to start. He was a decent mechanic when it came to Earth technology, but this was way beyond him. He wasn't Pidge.

The communication systems and the navigation systems also seemed to be shot. Which meant he couldn't even figure out where he was, much less call for help. The flickering display in front of him didn't give him much in the way of clues. What he could see of whatever planet he'd crashed on was little more than a barren landscape of sand and rocks, the howling wind outside obscuring everything in a thick fog of dust. He couldn't see much beyond the crater the Red Lion had made in the ground.

He could turn on the emergency homing beacon, but that was dangerous even in itself. Allura and the others might pick up the signal first, or the Galra might. The latter was actually more likely, given their resources and how close they'd been to Zarkon's main fleet before the wormhole had collapsed. Either way, Keith was pretty much stuck here until someone else came around and who knew when that might be? He had about a week's worth of emergency rations, but when those ran out…

Yes, he was pretty much fucked.

"I'm sorry, Red," he murmured in the silence of the cockpit. It was his fault, after all. While some of the damage to the lion had been due to the crash, most of it was from the fight with Zarkon. Even if he felt like he didn't have a choice, he still felt responsible for this. If only he'd been better, trained more, had a better connection with his lion… He didn't even know a fraction of what the Lions and Voltron were capable of. Hadn't Zarkon himself said much the same thing?

He felt a gentle brush against his mind, the Red Lion. It was the first sign he'd received that Red was still alive since he'd woken up. Keith felt a wave of relief wash through him despite the situation. At least he hadn't killed the Red Lion in his foolishness. He felt a wave of affection from the lion mingled with a grumbled chastisement. It wasn't like Red had wanted to abandon the fight with Zarkon either. It made Keith's guilt ease somewhat and he smiled faintly. They really were well suited for each other.

Just then the console started beeping and Keith sat up straight again. It was the proximity sensors, one of the few things that had not been too damaged in the crash, and they were picking up something.

"What is it, Red?" Keith asked, unsure whether to feel hopeful or wary. But his lion didn't feel alarmed. Excited maybe? The flickering display blinked to life showing the outline of a very familiar shape. Half-buried in a crater, much like his own lion was but still easily recognizable. The Black Lion.

"Shiro…" Keith whispered in awe in spite of himself. They must have been thrown out of the landing bay at the same time, but still, when they fell out of the wormhole they could have easily ended up light years apart! Instead not only had they crashed on the same planet, but were only a few hours apart traveling by pod if his instruments were reading correctly. What were the fucking chances?

His long-range communications were definitely shot. But maybe he could get something short range working. Keith slid out of the pilot's chair and knelt down on the floor beside the console. Even with Red urging him in the right direction, it took him several minutes just to figure out how to open up the thing, and another half-hour to find the communication controls. When he got back to the castle he was definitely asking Pidge to show him some things about the Lions inner workings. He fiddled with the insides of the control panel for a long time, and was just about to give it up as a lost cause when he finally heard a burst of static crackle over the com.

With a whoop of excitement Keith scrambled back into the pilot's chair and activated the communications console.

"Red Lion to Black Lion, do you read me? Shiro? Shiro, its Keith. Can you hear me?" Keith tried several different channels but all he got back was static. Which meant either the message wasn't going through, maybe the sand storm was interfering, or…

His sensors couldn't tell him how badly the Black Lion might be damaged, but it hadn't moved the entire time Keith had been fiddling with the communications panel. That couldn't be good. Keith didn't have to consider his options for very long before coming to a decision. He needed to get to Shiro, and if he couldn't get there in the Red Lion, that meant he had to go using the pod.

"You going to be okay Red?" he asked the lion, and Red responded with a feeling of urgency. She understood the situation and wanted him to go. She wanted to know that the Black Lion and Shiro were okay too. So he leapt up to dig out a pack from one of the storage compartments in the cockpit and began loading it with a few days worth of food, water, and as many medical supplies from his kit as he could fit inside. Just in case.

It was going to be a long trip over some pretty rough looking terrain. The sensors indicated that the atmosphere of the planet wasn't breathable either. Thank goodness the life-support systems in the lion and his suit were still functional.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, Red. I promise," he said aloud, giving one of the walls a gentle pat and hearing an understanding purr in his mind in response. Keith smiled a little as he sealed his faceplate and threw the pack over his shoulder. He took the elevator down to the hangar where the pod was docked, thankfully undamaged. Once inside the mouth of the lion opened obediently to let him out.

Outside the wind was howling strongly enough he could hear it even through the pod's cockpit and his sealed helmet. The dust it kicked up into the air made seeing any distance very difficult. Small rocks battered the pod's exterior and made him wonder if the pod would even be able to make it in this storm. He considered staying with the Lion until the storm dissipated, but dismissed that idea almost immediately. What if Shiro was hurt or... Keith started to pilot the pod up the crumbling sand walls of the crater.

It wasn't easy, but he eventually made it to the top. When he looked down at his instruments he was relieved to see the particle barrier flicker into place around the Red Lion. It made him feel a little better about leaving the Lion alone knowing the shield was operational.

Visibility was even worse now that he was out of the crater so he had to rely mostly on the pod's sensors and tracker to lead him to the Black Lion. At least he didn't have to make the trip on foot.

He kept trying to raise Shiro with the pod's limited communications, and grew more concerned every time his efforts were met with silence. He prayed it only meant the Black Lion's communications were damaged, and not...

"Please be okay, Shiro..."

It was nearly nightfall when he finally made out the dark shape of the Black Lion through the thick cloud of sand blowing around outside the pod. The pod itself was struggling at this point, obviously not having been designed to traverse this type of terrain, and especially not in this type of harsh weather. The hull was scored and dented from the rocks that had hit the sides and the propulsion systems were struggling, probably clogged with sand and other debris. He finally came to a stop outside of the particle barrier that was activated around the robot lion, glowing like a beacon in the darkening gloom.

"Shiro, can you hear me?" Again Keith tried to raise the Black Paladin over the pod's comm, but there was no answer. The knot of worry that he'd been battling against ever since he set out tightened in his gut, "It's me, Keith. Come on, man. Open up!"

When he still received no response, and the particle barrier remained in place, Keith unbuckled his harness and exited the pod. He was nearly knocked off his feet by strong winds and knew that if he wasn't wearing his armor and helmet his skin might have been stripped off of his bones in seconds.

He crossed the short distance and banged on the barrier with his fist but there was no response from the Black Lion.

Worry began to transform into outright fear. Something was wrong. Keith could feel it. It had been hours and the Black Lion hadn't moved at all if the sand piling up around it was any indication. There was no sign of Shiro.

"Shiro!" Keith banged on the force field harder.

 _Something's wrong. Something's wrong. Something's wrong_. The words seemed to echo in his head with the beat of his pounding heart. It took Keith a moment to realize the feeling wasn't just his own. It was coming from the lion. The Black Lion. Something was wrong with Shiro…

"Let me in! Please!" Keith shouted at the lion this time, praying it would listen to him. What if it didn't? Red certainly hadn't the first time, until he had proven himself. So Keith was somewhat surprised when the barrier suddenly vanished, and he stumbled a little before he regained his footing. He certainly wasn't going to question it, and ran towards the downed lion.

The lion's mouth opened up for him when he neared it and he rushed inside. He ran to the elevator and tore off his helmet impatiently as he waited for it to take him to the cockpit. He had no idea what to expect, and though he feared the worst, he still prayed otherwise.

_Please let him be okay. Please._

When he reached the cockpit his breath froze in his lungs and his helmet clattered loudly against the floor, dropped from numb fingers. Shiro was slumped over the Black Lion's controls, unmoving, and covered in blood.


	2. Chapter 2

Keith was ten years old. It had been a year since his father had been killed. In that time he'd been passed around to three different foster homes, and never spent more than a few months at each. The cops had picked him up shoplifting food from a grocery store. It had been nearly a week since he'd run away from his last foster home.

He'd sat still and silent in the police station and refused to answer their questions about who he was or where he lived. Not that it mattered, a few hours later they'd figured it out, and contacted his foster home. An hour after that, the woman who'd been looking after him for less than two months had shown up, nearly hysterical and yelled at him for a good twenty minutes about how worried she'd been. He simply stared at her, unblinking and unfazed. Eventually she'd gone. She didn't take Keith with her.

Social services were contacted after that. A few days later Keith was loaded into a car along with his few belongings and he was on his way to his next foster home.

Honestly, the last one hadn't been so bad, all things considered. The woman looking after him was relatively nice, patient, but woefully unprepared for Keith's rebellious nature. His first foster parents hadn't been able to handle the fact that Keith refused to speak to them once in all the months he'd lived with them. But just because he was quiet didn't mean that he didn't get into his share of trouble, and then some. Such as when he'd stolen his second foster parent's antique car and nearly drove it off a cliff. When his foster father went to hit him as punishment, Keith had pulled a knife on him, and well, that was the end of that foster home.

It would be so much easier if they'd just leave him alone. He'd been taking care of himself just fine for the last week. He didn't need anyone's help.

"We're here," the social worker announced as the car finally pulled to a stop. Keith frowned as he looked out the car's window. There didn't seem to be much of…anything. They seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, a small house surrounded by miles and miles of desert was the only sign of civilization. It reminded him so much of his home with his father it made his chest ache.

The social worker got out of the car and Keith watched him walk up to the door of the house and knock. An older woman with long black hair streaked with gray, and dark weathered looking skin opened the door. To Keith's eyes she could have been anywhere between sixty and a hundred. But when her eyes turned to look at him still sitting in the car, they held an intense focus that was somehow both intimidating and kind at the same time.

She wiped her hands on her apron and approached the car with the social worker. The social worker opened Keith's door and motioned for him to get out. He didn't wait for Keith to comply. Instead he went to the trunk and began to remove Keith's things from it, leaving Keith relatively alone with the old woman.

"Well, come on, young man. Let me have a good look at you," she said, her voice sounding just as warm and weathered as the desert environment where she lived. Keith got out of the car and stood tall, refusing to appear intimidated, even as she gave him a thorough look up and down, hummed to herself, and finally nodded. "I suppose you'll do. Thanks for bringing him, Michael."

"Wish I could say it was a pleasure, Elaine. Good luck," the man said, and with that, he got back in his car and drove away before any of them could think to protest. Keith frowned after the fading taillights.

"So, let's get you settled in then. Keith, wasn't it? Come on." The woman, Elaine, motioned for Keith to follow. He almost thought about refusing, just to see what she would do, but he was tired; it had been a long ride. So he picked up his small duffel bag and followed the woman inside.

For being so small the space was surprisingly tidy. There were two other children who sat in the living room, younger than Keith was, with the television on and schoolbooks lay out in front of them. They both looked up as Keith entered and Elaine went on to introduce them.

"Sarah and Robert, this is Keith, he's going to be staying with us," Elaine said.

The other children didn't seem all that impressed with Keith and went back to their cartoons and schoolbooks almost immediately. Elaine didn't seem to mind and motioned Keith to continue on with her.

"The twins are in this room. You'll be sharing this room with... Shiro! For goodness sake!" she yelled as she stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Keith peeked around her, curious in spite of himself. The room beyond was a complete wreck, every surface piled high with parts of machinery, tools, and a teenager sat in the middle chaos where he was tinkering with some kind of engine, his face and hands stained with grease.

"It was getting dark outside, Elaine. I put a tarp down," the teenager, Shiro, half-argued, half-pouted.

Elaine shook her head and sighed heavily. "I want this mess cleaned up before bedtime, understand?"

Shiro nodded, and finally seemed to notice Keith standing behind Elaine.

"This is Keith. He's your new roommate. Dinner is in an hour," she said, and with that, she left the two boys alone to stare at one another.

"Keith, huh?" Shiro finally asked, and Keith shrugged, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. Shiro stared at him for a little while longer before he went back to working on the engine, apparently content to ignore Keith and that was fine with him.

* * *

 

"Shiro!"

Keith ran to the other pilot's side. Panic seized his heart as his hands hovered over the older man a moment, not touching, afraid of possibly hurting Shiro more by doing so. Thankfully the moment passed quickly and his training took over.

Shiro's eyes were closed and he was a dead weight in Keith's arms as he moved him out of the pilot's seat to lay him flat on his back on the floor of the cockpit as carefully as possible. Keith removed the older man's helmet and pulled off his own gloves, tossing them both aside uncaring where they landed. Then he leaned over the other man, his ear close to Shiro's nose and mouth while his fingers fumbled at his neck trying to find a pulse.

The faint puff of air against his cheek and the weak heartbeat he felt made Keith want to weep in relief. But he managed to hold onto his composure and flew into action. The upper part of the Black Paladin's armor was removed and tossed away, then Keith dug out his knife from his pack and went to work cutting off the rest of Shiro's uniform. The tight black bodysuit split easily under the sharp blade, and when the dark material fell away Keith froze again in spite of himself.

He hadn't seen Shiro unclothed for a long time. Not since before Shiro had left Earth for Kerberos. Shiro had been very careful about not letting any of them see him. Now Keith knew why. Of course Keith had known there would be scars. The one Shiro couldn't hide across the bridge of his nose was a pretty big clue. But he hadn't imagined… hadn't realized…

"Oh fuck, Shiro…" Keith whispered as his eyes took in the multitude of scars covering Shiro's body. There were so many of them… far too many. Some old, others far more fresh, appearing only recently healed. Slashes, burns, some which even looked like _teeth_ and many more Keith couldn't identify the cause of. Then of course there was the thick line of scar tissue that wrapped around Shiro's upper arm where metal met flesh. So many… and he'd only seen Shiro's front. He was afraid of what Shiro's back might look like… the rest of him.

Keith shook himself and went back to work. He could worry about the scars later. The fresh wound on Shiro's side was far more important right now. Four deep parallel slashes along his ribs that looked like… claw marks? This hadn't happened in the crash. What the hell had caused it?

He could worry about that later too.

Keith had the required first aid courses at Galaxy Garrison and Coran had given them all a crash course in how to treat wounds using the Altean equipment from their first aid kits, so thankfully he had some idea what to do.

He pulled out what Coran had explained was some kind of disinfectant and sprayed the bloody gashes with it. Shiro moaned softly, his face scrunching up in pain, which tore at Keith's heart, but also gave him a little hope. It was the first move or sound Shiro had made since Keith had found him. Maybe that meant he would regain consciousness soon. Maybe it wasn't as bad as it looked.

Keith set aside the disinfectant and wiped up the blood as best he could, giving him a good look at the wound. Then he pulled out the strange glue-like material that could be used to seal large wounds. It wasn't pretty, but it would keep Shiro from bleeding out further and that was the important thing. When he was finished, a thick bandage covered Keith's work and kept pressure on the wound. Shiro made another soft sound of discomfort when Keith applied it, but didn't stir otherwise. He was very, very pale.

"Come on, Shiro. Wake up, man, please," Keith whispered, running his fingers through the white fringe on Shiro's brow. But the other man didn't wake, and Keith sighed softly, trying not to feel disappointed. At least Shiro was alive. He was going to be okay. He was _going_ to be okay.

Keith continued to check Shiro over, looking for other possible injuries, broken bones, internal bleeding, anything. But aside from some minor scratches and bruising there was nothing else he could really take care of. He'd know more if Shiro woke up. No, _when_. _When_ Shiro woke up.

After a bit of searching Keith uncovered a couple of emergency blankets from one of the storage compartments in the cockpit. He folded one to act as a pillow, which he gently eased under Shiro's head to make him more comfortable. The other he draped over Shiro's body, offering warmth and a bit of dignity to the unconscious man.

"You're going to be okay," Keith whispered aloud, trying hard to make himself believe it.


	3. Chapter 3

Keith cracked his eyes open and gazed across the small room at the other bed across from his. Shiro lay on his side faced away from him. He couldn't see very well in the dark, but the sound of the teenager's slow rhythmic breath suggested the older boy was sound asleep.

As he had for the past several nights, Keith slowly climbed out of bed carefully to avoid the old mattress squeaking too much and potentially wake up his 'roommate'. Unlike the previous nights however, Keith was already fully dressed and knelt down to reach under his bed for the bag he had already packed with his few belongings and stashed there earlier when everyone else was at dinner. He checked on the sleeping boy one last time before tiptoeing silently out of the room.

The small house was dark and utterly silent, but by now he'd become used to navigating around in the dark. As usual, there was a plate sitting on the kitchen table, left there for him from dinnertime. He'd declined eating with Elaine and the other children again that night, as he had ever since the first night he'd come to live here a little over a week ago. He had been tired, still more than a little resentful that he'd been forced into yet another foster home, and claimed not to be hungry despite the growling of his stomach giving away his lie. He'd more than half expected Elaine to get angry, and insist he eat with the 'family' if he wanted to eat at all. He'd heard that line more than once and there had been many nights where Keith had gone to bed hungry as a result.

But Elaine hadn't gotten angry. Instead she merely nodded with an understanding look in her eyes and told him there would be leftovers for him whenever he felt like eating. He had stayed in his room, curled up on his bed with his back to the door. Shiro only gave him a brief look, which Keith ignored, before he'd left to join the others for dinner. Keith hadn't moved, pretended to be asleep, even when the older boy eventually returned to clean up his mess, as Elaine had told him to. The light eventually turned out as Shiro himself got into bed and went to sleep. It was hours yet before Keith finally crawled out of bed, his stomach grumbling too loud for even him to ignore now, and to his surprise there had been a plate waiting for him as promised.

Tonight, rather than sitting down to eat the meal left for him, Keith picked up the covered plate and carefully placed it into his bag on top of his clothes so it wouldn't spill. Then he quietly went into the cupboards and pulled out whatever food he could find that would keep for a while and transport easily. He didn't take too much. He didn't like stealing food. But he didn't know when he'd be able to get more, so he took what he could now. He didn't bother to leave a note as he quietly crept through the house to the front door, opened it, and slipped out into the night.

It was much cooler at night in the desert than during the day, which was always something of a surprise to Keith. He shivered, zipped up the thin moth eaten hoodie he wore, and shoved his hands deep into its pockets to keep warm. The sky was clear and the moon was bright overhead, giving him plenty of light to see by, which was why he'd waited until tonight to leave.

It wasn't like he disliked Elaine or the other children. She was surprisingly nice and never tried to force Keith to do something he didn't want to do. Not even when Keith had stubbornly refused to leave his room to go to school. The other children and Shiro had gone and that left him home alone with Elaine all day long. She'd spent the entire day cleaning and occasionally asked his help with various chores. He quickly decided that was worse than school and had gone without protest the next day.

But he didn't want to stay. The house was too small. Too crowded. He felt trapped. It felt like the walls were closing in on him, making it difficult to breathe, every second he remained. He didn't care if they were nice. He didn't want to live with them. He didn't want to live with anyone. He just wanted to be alone. He didn't need anyone.

He hefted his bag over his shoulder and started down the long dirt driveway that would take him to the road, such as it was, when a voice behind him made him nearly jump out of his skin.

"Where do you think you're going?" Shiro asked almost conversationally, his voice low in deference to the sleeping occupants inside the house but still seemed too loud in the near silent night. Keith whirled around to face the older boy, who leaned casually up against the side of the house, mostly hidden in the shadows, but Keith could still pick him out by the red and white jacket he'd often seen Shiro wearing.

Keith backed away from the teenager and wondered if it was worth trying to make a run for it. Shiro was much taller than him, not to mention stronger, and could probably easily catch him if he did. Keith heaved a dejected sigh, and his shoulders slumped as he stared at the ground. No doubt Shiro was going to tell Elaine about this, and then he was going to be in trouble…

"You know it's nearly twenty miles to the nearest town with a bus station, right?" Shiro asked, and Keith merely shrugged, and refused to look at the older boy. Of course he knew, he took the bus to school in town just as the other children did. That was how he knew how to get there. He didn't have any money for a bus ticket, he might steal food from Elaine but he wasn't going to steal money, he did have _some_ morals. But he'd figure out what to do when he got to that point. He always thought of something eventually.

"The coyotes would probably get you before you made it half way to town," Shiro went on, and at that Keith's head snapped up. His expression was one of doubt first, but as if Shiro had actually conjured them with his words, Keith heard a distant howl begin in the night, and his expression became far less defiant and more nervous. This seemed to amuse Shiro greatly who started to laugh, and quickly covered his own mouth before he could wake the whole house.

"Sorry, but you should have seen your face," Shiro said when he had finally stopped chuckling, mostly, and Keith folded his arms across his chest and frowned petulantly. Finally Shiro pushed away from the house and approached him, and Keith's entire body tensed. Once more ready to run, or at least put up a good fight, should the older boy try to grab him and drag him back inside or something. But to his surprise, Shiro just walked past him towards the small garage and got out his hover bike.

It was an older model, but well taken care of. Shiro had actually been working on it the first night Keith had arrived, and he'd seen the sixteen-year-old riding it several times already. Shiro eased it out of the garage quietly without turning it on yet, got on, and then patted the seat in front of him. Keith could only stare at the older boy, dumbfounded.

"Well, do you want a ride, or not?" Shiro asked him and Keith couldn't help but do a double take at the very unexpected words. Was this some kind of trick? Shiro couldn't possibly be offering to actually give him a ride into town. Why would the older boy help him run away of all things? Maybe he wanted his room back…

"Come on, I want to get back to bed sometime tonight."

Keith approached the older boy and the hover bike slowly, still wary of some kind of trap. Shiro held out his hand and it took him a moment to realize he wanted Keith's bag. Keith debated several moments before finally handing it over, deciding at this point it really didn't matter. He'd never outrun Shiro, and if he didn't give him the bag, the older boy could easily just take it from him. To his surprise, however, Shiro merely secured it to the back of the bike and then patted the seat in front of him again.

Keith cautiously climbed on the bike in front of the older boy. He was small and skinny enough that he fit easily. Shiro shoved a helmet into his hands and ordered him to put it on. Keith obeyed, still confused by the strange turn of events.

"Hold on," Shiro said, and the bike roared to life beneath them. A moment later they were flying across the desert sand at a speed that nearly took Keith's breath away and had his heart rate speeding up to match it. The g-force pressed his back against Shiro's chest and he realized then why the older boy had wanted him in front and not in back. Keith might have fallen off if he had. As it was, he had to cling tightly to the older boy's arms where Shiro gripped the controls to keep his balance. But he trusted that Shiro wouldn't let him fall.

The ground raced by in a blur. Shiro expertly piloted the bike around obstacles, never slowing down, the sharp turns making Keith's stomach flip and adrenaline pump through his veins like fire. It was the most amazing thing he'd ever experienced. The speed. The roar of the engine as Shiro pushed the bike faster and faster. The wind tore at his clothes making him feel like he was flying. Keith felt something loosen in his chest, the feeling of walls pressing in on him on all sides receding for the first time he could remember. He no longer felt trapped. He felt free.

The flat desert landscape gave away to more rocky terrain. They were soon riding along the edge of a sharp cliff, so close to the drop that realistically it should have terrified him. But fear was the last thing Keith felt right now. Instead he laughed. He couldn't remember the last time he had.

"Faster!" he cried, and to his surprise, Shiro obeyed, pushing the hover bike that much faster. Even as they neared end of the path, nothing beyond but air and a canyon far below. Keith never once thought of asking Shiro to stop.

And then, they really were flying. Keith's stomach crawled up into his throat as they dropped. Fast. Gravity pulled them down to the earth at a frightening pace. Shiro's hands flew over the controls, manipulating the machine as easy as breathing. The bike pulled up and the thrusters pointed down, slowing their decent at the last possible second, then changed again to propel them forward once more along the canyon floor. A spray of water kicked up as they flew over the small river at the bottom of the canyon, wetting Keith's face, and camouflaging the tears of joy that hadn't even realized he'd shed.

They didn't go to town. Keith didn't care. When they finally pulled up the small dirt driveway to Elaine's house, Keith wasn't surprised at all to see the old woman standing outside in her nightgown, arms crossed across her chest, scowling at them fiercely.

"I hope you know you are both grounded for the next week," she said calmly, and Shiro gave her an unapologetic grin.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, not sounding the least bit contrite. Keith couldn't stop grinning in spite of himself, and Elaine finally shook her head.

"Get inside and back to bed you two, you have school tomorrow," She said, before she went inside, and looked as though she was trying to fight a smile of her own.

Shiro climbed off the bike and handed Keith his bag back before he moved to store the hover bike away once more. Keith shuffled from one foot to the other, not really sure how to feel or what to do now. Once Shiro was finished, he passed Keith on the way back into the house and ruffled the hair on the younger boy's head affectionately.

"Maybe next time I'll teach you how to fly," Shiro said with a wink, and Keith couldn't help but grin again as he followed Shiro back into the house.

* * *

 

As much as Keith wanted to stay by Shiro's side and wait for the older man to wake up, he didn't have that luxury. Shiro needed help. It was more imperative than ever that he get in contact with the Castle of Lions. They needed to get Shiro to a healing pod as soon as possible.

Keith reluctantly tore his eyes away from Shiro's unmoving form and did his best to ignore the other man's blood smeared across Black Lion's control console and pilot seat. He attempted to activate the long-range comms but the console remained stubbornly unresponsive. Keith practically growled in frustration.

"Look, I know I'm not Shiro. But you want to help him, right? I need you to work with me here," Keith said aloud. Allura had never confirmed whether or not the sentient machines understood actual words. The lions, at least Keith's lion, never seemed to communicate that way, it was more with feelings, but Keith decided it couldn't hurt.

Nothing happened and Keith's fists clenched in anger.

"Please! He could die! Is that what you want?!" Keith shouted, and resisted the urge to punch the console in frustration. That definitely wouldn't help anything. He wished he could say he was surprised that the Black Lion didn't want to respond to him. Shiro had the strongest connection with his lion out of all of them. Keith's bond with Red had certainly grown stronger over time, but it was still weak compared to Shiro's bond with Black. The lion wasn't going to just accept the orders of anyone else so easily. But if he couldn't get the Black Lion to work with him…

"Please…" He whispered softer and closed his eyes. He focused on his need to help Shiro, his desperate fear, and pleaded again, "Please help me. Help me help him."

There was a deep resonating growl that seemed to vibrate through the entire cockpit and then the console's systems suddenly lit up all around him.

"Thank you," Keith said earnestly and tried again to contact the Castle of Lions. There was a loud burst of static through the comms and no matter what Keith tried he couldn't get a clear signal. He began a diagnostics to try and pinpoint the problem. Was it possible that the Black Lion's communications systems had been damaged when it crashed too? It was possible, but improbable, it seemed like far too much of a coincidence for both lions communications to be out. There had to be another reason he couldn't get through. The sandstorm was the most likely culprit. But what if it was something else? What if the problem wasn't on their end? What if he couldn't get through because... something had happened to the castle when the wormhole collapsed? What if it had been destroyed...

No. No no no.

He was overreacting. He had to keep it together and not jump to conclusions. He should know better than that by now.

The console beeped, indicating that the diagnostic was complete, and confirmed his original thought. There was a massive amount of static electricity in the atmosphere caused by the sandstorm, which was interfering with the signal. They could either try to wait out the storm… or maybe they could get above it? The lightning crackling in the clouds above didn't fill him with a lot of confidence. Keith also didn't like the idea of leaving the Red Lion here on the planet alone. But if they could get out of the planet's atmosphere and contact the Castle they could easily come back for it afterwards.

With that in mind Keith began to bring the Black Lion's other systems online, getting it ready for flight, and thankfully it didn't fight his attempts this time. It must have realized just how dire the situation was. The Black Lion got to its feet, shuddered hard, and a very unpleasant sound of metal scraping against metal resounded through the whole machine.

"You going to be able to make it, Black?" He asked aloud, the Lion didn't answer him in words, but the thrusters activated. The Lion shuddered again but took off, fighting against the strong winds, and heading up through the atmosphere. For a moment Keith thought they were going to make it, but then warning alarms began to blare and a massive bolt of lightning struck the Black Lion. Keith was thrown out of the seat with a cry as the console short-circuited. The unmistakable smell of burning circuitry filled the cockpit and then they were falling.

Keith barely had time to throw himself protectively over Shiro before they crashed once more into the planet's surface and everything went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

"Shiro!" Keith's excited shout as he burst through the front door was extra loud today and probably wouldn't be appreciated by Elaine but the young boy was too happy right now to care. Shiro had made a deal with him months ago, if Keith brought up his grades in school then next time they went for a ride, Shiro would let him pilot the hover bike all by himself! Keith had his report card clutched tightly in his hand, practically bouncing in place in his excitement, ready to cash in on that promise.

He tried to not look too disappointed when only Elaine stepped out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel with a mildly chiding expression.

"Keith, honestly. What's got you so worked up?" Elaine asked and Keith debated whether or not to show her his report card. He had wanted to show Shiro first…

"Where's Shiro?" He asked, looking around as though the older boy might pop out from somewhere hidden at any moment to surprise him. It wouldn't be the first time.

"I asked Shiro to pick up some things in town on his way home," Elaine explained, and then chuckled softly when Keith visibly deflated at the news, "He should be home soon. What have you got there?"

Obediently Keith handed over his report card, trying not to feel too disappointed. Elaine took the paper and read it over, and her expression immediately changed from curiosity to surprise and then she smiled at him in pride.

"Keith, this is wonderful," She said, and pulled him into a hug that had Keith beaming in spite of everything. He tucked his head under her chin and hugged her back. At eleven he was still a little shorter than Elaine, but wouldn't be for long, "I'm so proud of you. I think this deserves some peanut butter brownies."

With that Keith's mood returned to utter elation and he was left grinning ear to ear as Elaine ruffled his hair and returned to the kitchen. Keith all but skipped down the hallway to the room he shared with Shiro. Keith dropped his book bag on his bed and then decided to pass the time by cleaning up some of the mess while he waited for Shiro to return. Dirty clothes went into the hamper. Books were reorganized carefully on the shelf. Keith was in the middle of straightening up the desk the two of them shared when he saw the letter.

It was from Galaxy Garrison and it was addressed to Shiro.

Normally Keith would never go through Shiro's things, but the envelope was already open and his curiosity got the better of him. Why would Galaxy Garrison be sending a letter to Shiro? A few moments later the letter dropped from his numb fingers and Keith backed away from it like the simple note was a snake ready to bite him.

It was an acceptance letter. Shiro had been accepted into the Galaxy Garrison Pilot program. Shiro was leaving…

Keith's vision blurred. Stupid. He was so stupid. Why was he so surprised?

He wasn't crying. He refused to cry. Instead he ran. He heard the slam of the front door as he bolted through it out into the open desert. He was distantly aware of Elaine's worried voice calling after him but he didn't stop. He ran and ran. He didn't look back.

* * *

 

Keith sat with his back pressed against the cool metal wall. A small emergency light set on the floor nearby was the only illumination in the dark cockpit. He carefully opened up one of the ration cubes, and winced every time he moved his bandaged hands. The burns on his palms weren't too bad, but they still hurt like a bitch. The rest of his body felt like one giant bruise, but he considered himself lucky. He could have been killed. _They_ could have been killed.

The red paladin sighed heavily as he popped the small cube into his mouth. It was barely more than a mouthful, but it was packed with nutrients and would expand in his stomach making him feel full in a few minutes. It even tasted better than some of the food goo that had been their main staple ever since they'd left Earth behind.

Keith never thought he'd miss that green goo. Or Coran's supposedly healthy, but smellier and often less appetizing concoctions. He never thought he would miss Lance's loud obnoxious and endless commentary during dinner. Never thought he'd miss Pidge and Hunk going on and on about some new alien tech they'd discovered on the ship. Never thought he'd miss Allura sharing a deep and meaningful discussion with a bunch of mice, of all things. Never thought he'd miss Shiro sitting in silence watching them all with that small indulgent smile…

Keith looked over to where the black paladin lay on the floor, unmoving save for the slow rise and fall of his chest. Still alive. No thanks to him. It was nothing short of a miracle that the older paladin hadn't been injured any further after the crash. But he still hadn't woken up.

"I'm sorry," Keith whispered, his voice nearly lost in the near constant howling wind of the ferocious storm outside. The guilt he felt over failing to help his friend was nearly choking. Shiro had always been there for him when Keith needed him most… and all he had ever done was fail the older paladin.

He had never accepted the flimsy explanations that Galaxy Garrison had released explaining the reason for the mission's failure. But he felt like he should have done more… somehow… Even knowing logically there was no way he could have possibly done so, he felt like he should have gone to the heart of the Galra empire and tore it apart, with his bare hands if need be, to find Shiro. Never mind that there was no way for him to know that aliens actually existed at the time, even if he had, there was no way he could have gotten there. There wasn't even any reason to believe that Shiro was still alive…

Then he'd failed to defeat Zarkon, because he hadn't been good enough. Never good enough. Zarkon had almost gotten his hands on the Black Lion and Shiro had to save him. Again.

Keith closed his eyes and clenched his fist in anger, not caring about the intense pain that shot through his palm as he did so. Worse than that failure was the way he was failing Shiro now. There was nothing he could do to help the older man. Everything he had tried had only made things worse. Shiro could be dying, right in front of him, and he was helpless to do _anything_!

A low rumbling purr, soft and almost reassuring, brushed against his mind and Keith's eyes snapped open in surprise. It was the first sign the Black Lion had made that it was still functional since the crash, and Keith felt some of the overwhelming guilt choking him loosen just a little.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, pressing his palm against the cool metal wall and felt the brush against his mind again. Keith hadn't really been expecting forgiveness, so he was surprised when there was more in that feeling. The Black Lion didn't think there was anything to forgive in the first place. Even though it had probably been hurt the most by Keith's mistake.

"Thank you…" Keith's voice was nearly inaudible, but he was sure the lion would feel his gratitude all the same.

He heard a soft groan from the other side of the cockpit.

"Shiro?" The red paladin whispered, barely daring to breathe lest he miss any other sounds the other man might make. His heart was already pounding so hard in his chest he could barely hear anything else. Then…

"Keith…" It was barely more than a breath, could have just been his imagination, but it had Keith scrambling up and kneeling beside Shiro in an instant. He took Shiro's human hand between his own and squeezed it gently, and nearly choked on a relieved sob when those fingers squeezed back weakly. Then miraculously, Shiro's eyes opened.

"Keith..." Shiro whispered again and it was all Keith could do not to burst into relieved tears.

"Yeah, it's me, Shiro," Keith replied and watched as Shiro took in his surroundings. His expression was confused at first but it quickly shifted to recognition. This made Keith more relieved than he wanted to admit. He'd been afraid Shiro might have suffered a head injury, and not know where he was. Or even who Keith was. For all he knew, a blow to the head could have made Shiro's already existing amnesia even worse. Keith took this as a good sign.

"What happened?" Shiro asked.

"I'm not sure exactly. One minute we were in the wormhole and the next we weren't. We crashed here. The lions are pretty beaten up. I tried contacting the castle, but communications are down. Damaged or because of the storm, I'm not sure. Hopefully once the storm is over... we'll see." Keith gave a brief rundown of events leading up to this point and Shiro nodded slowly in understanding.

"Any sign... of Galra?" Shiro coughed weakly when his words caught in his throat and then winced in pain. Keith quickly reached for a water packet.

"Not that I can tell. Here, you should drink something. You've lost a lot of blood," Keith offered, then cupped the back of Shiro's head with one hand, gently supporting the older man while he slowly sipped on the pouch of water that the red paladin held for him. Shiro had barely taken more than a few sips, not nearly enough, when the black paladin weakly shook his head, indicating he was done. Keith frowned, but carefully lowered the man back down to rest against the makeshift pillow.

"You should try to drink some more," Keith told him, eyeing the packet of water that was still mostly full with a worried frown.

"Couldn't keep any more down if I tried," Shiro admitted weakly and though Keith grew even more worried, he relented. It would do no good to force Shiro to drink more if he would just throw it back up. That would just make him even more dehydrated and potentially hurt him.

"Okay..." Keith relented reluctantly. If Shiro couldn't even keep down a few sips of water he definitely wasn't going to want to eat anything, "Maybe you should try to get some sleep?"

Even though Shiro had just woken, he looked utterly exhausted, and barely able to keep his eyes open. The elder man gave a faint nod after only a moment, and his easy compliance only made Keith worry about him more.

"If you keep making that face it'll get stuck that way," Shiro's attempt at a joke was far from comforting. When Keith frowned instead, the older paladin sighed heavily, "I'll be fine, Keith."

He wished that reassurance was more comforting. Because Keith knew Shiro was only saying it to stop him from worrying, not because the words were true. The horrible fact was, that Shiro was _not_ fine. He was really hurt. What if Shiro went to sleep... and he didn't wake up? Keith couldn't bear the thought...

"You should try to get some sleep too," Shiro went on and Keith immediately shook his head at Shiro's suggestion.

"One of us should stay awake, in case anything happens," Not that there was much either of them could do right now if anything did happen, but still...

"You said yourself there doesn't seem to be a Galra threat here," Shiro reasoned, and when Keith opened his mouth to protest, the elder man continued before he could further object, "The Black Lion will let us know if anything happens."

Keith considered it. He _was_ tired. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten any sleep. But even if he did lay down he probably wouldn't sleep anyway. He was too worried about Shiro to get any real rest.

"I'll be fine," he said stubbornly.

"You're not fine. You're exhausted, I can tell. There's no telling how long we'll be stuck here. How long the storm might last. We can't try to contact the castle till its over. We need to rest while we can," Shiro said softly, and damn the man for sounding so reasonable. Keith huffed a frustrated sigh but nodded.

"Alright," he agreed grudgingly. He might not like it, but he'd learned to trust Shiro's judgement a long time ago.

"We just need to be patient. Allura found the lions once, remember," Shiro offered as a small reassurance.

"I know, I know. Patience yields focus," Keith muttered almost petulantly, he had never been very good at waiting. Shiro chuckled softly then groaned in discomfort. Keith was by his side in an instant, "Shiro..."

"I'm okay," Shiro reassured, Keith didn't believe him for a second. Shiro sighed heavily and lifted up the corner of his blanket. Keith frowned in confusion and the older man smiled faintly, "Come on. Lay down."

Keith blinked, surprised by the offer. They hadn't... not since before Kerberos. Shiro hadn't given any indication before now that he even wanted... Then Shiro shivered visibly and Keith frowned.

"Are you cold?" he asked in concern.

"A little," Shiro admitted and now the offer made more sense. Shiro just wanted to share body heat. It didn't mean... anything...

Carefully Keith shifted to lay down next to the older man. He'd already removed his armor earlier and was only dressed in the tight black bodysuit they all wore underneath. It was comfortable for the most part, but not exactly designed for chilly climates. The armor's thermal regulator usually took care of that, but was definitely too bulky to sleep in. Keith scooted as close as he dared next to Shiro without touching him and the older man adjusted the blanket to lay over them both.

He wasn't expecting it when Shiro suddenly wrapped his arm around Keith's shoulders and pulled him closer. Keith tensed, and it was impossible for Shiro not to feel it. The older man stilled and looked at Keith in concern.

"Is this okay?" Shiro asked, already moving to release the Red Paladin.

"It's fine," Keith responded quickly, wincing a little at the slightly panicked tone his voice had taken, and forced himself to calm down even though his heart was beating a mile a minute, "I was just... surprised. It's fine."

Shiro didn't look convinced and Keith forced himself to relax against the older man's uninjured side. His head came to rest on Shiro's shoulder and after a moment Keith felt Shiro's arm settle around his shoulders again, holding him close. The lump of emotion swelling in Keith's throat nearly choked him.

"Goodnight Keith," he heard Shiro mumble softly, already sounding half asleep. Keith didn't answer for a long time.

"Goodnight Takashi..."


	5. Chapter 5

Keith sat on the edge of the plateau overlooking a seemingly endless expanse of desert below. Far off in the distance, there was a storm rolling in. Thick clouds rumbled with thunder and bright arcs of lightning flashed between the clouds and the earth below. The sun was setting into those massive clouds turning the entire sky a mixture of orange and red; making the entire sky look like it was on fire.

The first time Shiro had brought him here, it had been for a project for Keith's astronomy class. They'd set out after the sun had set with the telescope and Shiro had quizzed him on his constellations. That night Shiro had admitted to Keith that this was his favorite spot, and the two boys had continued to come here, often sneaking out after dark, to ride the hover bike or just to talk.

It was here that Keith shyly admitted to Shiro that he was happy living with him and Elaine. Shiro had ruffled his hair playfully and hugged him, telling him he was happy too.

Maybe that had just been a lie. Shiro was leaving after all. Leaving them. Leaving him…

He heard the sound of the hover bike, distant, but quickly growing closer. Keith had a brief thought of hiding so Shiro wouldn't see him, but chances were that the older boy had already seen him. It wasn't like there was much cover in the desert. Plus, a small, more rational, voice inside him spoke up, if he'd really wanted to hide from Shiro, he wouldn't have come here in the first place.

So he remained where he was, his feet dangling over the sharp edge of the cliff, staring off into the distance. He didn't bother to turn his head when the hover bike finally came to a stop nearby. He didn't look at Shiro when the teenager shouted at him, sounding a mixture between angry and worried.

"Keith! What the hell are you doing? Why did you run off? Elaine was worried sick," the other boy scolded him as he approached, but Keith still didn't move. He heard the footsteps behind him slow. Then stop.

"Keith?" Shiro's tone was more hesitant, unsure, "Keith, what's wrong?"

His approaching steps were far more cautious now.

"Keith…" He felt the brush of Shiro's fingers against his shoulder, and Keith flinched away sharply. Shiro immediately pulled his hand back as though burned. Keith had never avoided Shiro's touch before. The teenager stood there for a long time, just looking at him. Finally he gave a heavy sigh and carefully sat down next to Keith, being careful not to touch him, "What's wrong? Please, Keith. I can't do anything if I don't know…"

Shiro sounded so confused. So worried. Like he had no idea how much he had hurt Keith. It made him angry, and he finally turned to glare at Shiro. The older boy nearly flinched at the look of betrayal on Keith's face.

"You're leaving!" Keith spat out and Shiro's expression shifted between worry and confusion.

"What are you talking about? I'm right here…"

"Don't lie to me!"

Shiro actually jumped at the pure venom in those words. He still looked confused for several moments, and then his eyes went wide, and Keith could see the understanding dawn there. It was followed quickly by sadness and it twisted Keith's heart and forced him to look away from the older boy. He was already fighting against tears despite his best efforts and he refused to cry in front of anyone, much less Shiro.

"Shit… shit…" Keith heard Shiro mutter, and then sigh again, "Keith, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Keith asked bitterly, sniffling and then wrapping his arms around himself. The storm was getting closer, the wind picking up, and the sun had almost completely disappeared. It was getting cold and all he had on was a flimsy T-shirt. But the cold seemed insignificant compared to the fiery ache in his chest. Why hadn't Shiro just told him? He must have been planning it for a long time. Maybe even before Keith had moved in with them. If Shiro had just told him… Keith still would have been upset, but maybe he wouldn't have allowed himself to get so close to begin with. To get his hopes up…

Shiro was silent for so long he began to wonder if the other boy would answer him at all. Finally Keith dared a glance over at Shiro to find the older boy staring dejectedly at the ground far below them. He'd never seen Shiro look so unsure before. It made the hot knot in his chest tighten all the more.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I should have told you," Shiro finally said, and Keith couldn't help but blink in surprise. Before he could think of anything to say, however, Shiro continued, "Honestly? I never thought I'd get accepted in the first place. There's so much competition, and… I studied, I sent in the application, I took the entrance exams, but I honestly never thought… I mean, why the hell would they want _me_?"

Shiro laughed, but it was an ugly sound, bitter and self-mocking. The anger Keith felt was instantly doused by the sound, and he swallowed hard against the knot of sadness welling up in his throat. They'd never discussed… before. What their lives had been like before they'd come to live with Elaine. Keith might be young, but he wasn't stupid. Stories like theirs were never happy ones. Shiro acted like the past didn't matter to him, but it couldn't have been any easier for him than it had been for Keith. Especially since the older boy had always seemed to know exactly what Keith had needed when he needed it… probably because Shiro had been through it all himself once.

"Why wouldn't they want you?" Keith finally asked, almost in disbelief. Shiro looked at him and gave him a sad smile.

"I didn't tell you, because I hadn't made up my mind yet whether or not to go. But if you need me to stay, Keith..." Shiro's words hit Keith like a blow to the stomach, making it almost difficult to breathe. Shiro was willing to stay, willing to give up his dreams… for him.

Instantly Keith felt an almost crushing feeling of guilt. He couldn't do that to Shiro. Couldn't... trap him like that. It was selfish. This wasn't about what _he_ needed. It would hurt when Shiro left, but he could live with it. He'd done just fine on his own before, after all. But Shiro might never get another chance like this. He didn't want Shiro to believe that he didn't deserve this. He deserved... he deserved to be happy.

Keith swallowed hard, and forced out the words he knew Shiro needed to hear.

"You should go. Of course you should go. You're going to be the best pilot in the whole world. No, the whole universe," Keith said as earnestly as he could manage. Shiro blinked at him for a few moments and then laughed softly. The teenager reached for him, hesitated, and that was all Keith could stand. He practically threw himself at the older boy, wrapping his arms around Shiro tightly and burying his face against his chest. He tried to ignore his own heart breaking. It was made a little easier when Shiro hugged him back just as tightly.

"Keith, its not like I'm going away forever. I can call, or write, and I'll be home for holidays. You can call me anytime. I'll always be there for you if you need me," Shiro whispered, and Keith sniffled again.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

It would have to be enough, because Keith didn't want to lose Shiro.

"Okay."

They remained that way for a while longer, until Keith shivered again. Despite how warm Shiro's arms were around him, the rest of him was still cold.

"You're freezing," Shiro pointed out and started to pull away, and Keith held onto him tighter in response. Just a little while longer…

Shiro sighed, and Keith felt the older boy shifting, and then something warm and heavy was draped over his shoulders. Keith looked up in surprise to see that it was Shiro's red and white jacket. Shiro gave him a rueful smile and ruffled his hair again.

"Come on. Elaine is going to kill us both if we don't get home soon," Shiro suggested, always the voice of reason. Keith reluctantly nodded and slowly released the teenager. Shiro helped him to his feet and they got on the hover bike. Keith was extra grateful for the warmth of Shiro's jacket around him as they made the ride home.

Elaine was definitely upset when they arrived, telling Keith he was grounded for a month, but hugging him while she did so. Keith waited for Shiro to put away the hover bike and then started to take off the jacket to give back to the older boy. To his surprise, Shiro shook his head.

"Keep it. It was getting too small for me anyway."

So, Keith put the jacket on properly. Of course it dwarfed him, the sleeves falling over his hands until he rolled them up, but that wouldn't stop him from wearing it whenever he could. He followed Shiro inside, smiling shyly. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

 

When Keith woke he was a little surprised he'd actually managed to fall asleep in the first place. He'd been determined to stay awake and look after Shiro once the older man had fallen asleep. He wasn't sure when he himself had dozed off. It couldn't have been too much longer after he had lain down with the other man. He had been so tired, and he had felt so comfortable...

Keith felt a blush beginning to color his cheeks.

Sometimes he hated it when Shiro was right. He _had_ been exhausted, and Keith had to admit he felt a lot better now. Physically rested, and his head wasn't pounding nearly as much anymore. He was also hot. Really hot. He could feel sweat gathering on the back of his neck and making the tight black clothing he was wearing cling to his skin.

That probably had something to do with the way he was practically plastered against Shiro's side. At some point during the night he'd ended up nearly half sprawled over the older man. His arm draped over Shiro's chest and one of his legs thrown over Shiro's to boot. Which wouldn't be so bad, in fact it was quite nice, except for the fact that lying next to Shiro was like lying next to a furnace. Usually the heat didn't bother Keith too much but...

Shiro suddenly moaned softly and Keith frowned in concern as he carefully pushed himself up to look down at the other man. Shiro was still deeply asleep. His eyes were closed but his lips were parted and he was breathing rapidly. His expression was tense despite being fast asleep, the lines around his eyes and mouth tight and pronounced. Shiro's fingers twitched, clenched into a fist, and the older man groaned again.

They all knew that Shiro had nightmares and didn't get much sleep at the best of times. The number of mornings that the Black Paladin arrived for breakfast with dark circles under his eyes was too many to count. Keith suspected that sometimes Shiro went days without any real rest. Most of the time they all ignored the elephant in the room because that was clearly what Shiro wanted. Anytime anyone had brought it up, Shiro would just brush off their concern and claim he was fine, refusing to admit there was a problem. The obvious lack of sleep never seemed to impact Shiro's performance during the day, so what could anyone say really?

Watching Shiro now as his head tossed and he made sounds of fear and pain, Keith hated himself a little. He felt like he should have done something sooner. He wished he had gone to Shiro before and... and what? It's not like he could really force Shiro to talk about something if he really didn't want to talk. Their relationship had been so... not strained but definitely different. Ever since Shiro had come back the older man had been... distant... not like before.

In fact, this was probably the closest they had been since Shiro had returned. Sometimes he wasn't even sure if Shiro even remembered...

Keith kept telling himself that Shiro just needed time. He'd been through hell. Keith just needed to be patient. He shouldn't push...

"No... please... stop..." Shiro whimpered, flinching in his sleep, and that was all that Keith could take. He moved a little bit further away from the older man, just in case Shiro woke up swinging, and raised his voice.

"Shiro... Shiro! Wake up!" Keith frowned when nothing happened, and clenched his fists to stop himself from reaching out to shake the older man awake. Since that probably wouldn't end well for either of them, "Takashi!"

Shiro's eyes snapped open and it was definitely a good thing that Keith had moved out of arm's reach because his Galra arm activated at the same time and swung in his direction. Keith reeled back, and put his hands up to deflect any more potential blows, but thankfully none came. Shiro blinked rapidly, his eyes darting quickly around the room in confusion before finally settling on him. All at once Shiro seemed to realize where he was, and what had just happened.

"Keith... oh my god, are you all right? Did I hurt..." Shiro whispered, pale and horrified.

"No. I'm fine, Shiro. I promise," Keith said, inching closer to Shiro once more when the Galra arm went dormant. Then all of a sudden Shiro began to pitch to the side and Keith practically lunged to steady the other man and ease him back laying down gently. Shiro looked like he was about to be sick, and Keith wasn't sure if it was due to the pain of his wound or guilt for nearly decapitating Keith in his sleep.

"I'm sorry," Shiro whispered and groaned.

"It's okay. I'm okay," Keith reassured again, and frowned as Shiro's complexion took on a distinctly green tinge, "Are you going to be sick? Do you need a bucket?"

"No," Shiro replied, and after a few moments seemed to reconsider his stance, "Yes."

Keith jumped up and quickly searched the lion for something that would do the job that _wasn't_ one of their helmets. What he found wasn't a bucket, but it was close enough, he decided. He brought it back to Shiro and shoved it into the older man's hands just in time.

The younger man winced in sympathy as Shiro vomited, and rubbed the older man's shaking shoulders as he was sick. There wasn't much. Shiro had hardly anything to drink or eat in well over twenty-four hours. But the dry heaves still lasted for quite a while and were obviously painful.

Keith took the 'bucket' once Shiro was done and helped the other man lay down once more. Shiro was still trembling faintly and looked even paler than before if it was possible. Keith picked up one of the water packets and Shiro started to shake his head before the Red Paladin interrupted the automatic refusal.

"You don't have to drink it. Just rinse your mouth. It'll make you feel better," Keith said and this time Shiro didn't argue. Keith held the bucket this time as Shiro swished the water around in his mouth a few times before spitting it out. Once Shiro was finished he helped the other man lay down again.

"Thanks," Shiro muttered, and Keith gave a small shrug.

"Don't mention it."

Shiro glanced over at the 'bucket' and frowned slightly, "What is that thing anyway?"

Keith shrugged again.

"I don't know. Probably something important," It looked pretty high tech, at least, "Coran will probably have a fit."

Shiro let out a small cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and Keith felt a bout of giggles building up in his chest, though he tried to fight it, just imagining the flamboyant tirade the older Altean would probably unleash on them for misusing high-tech equipment. They looked at each other, and both lost the battle at the same time, suddenly snickering like schoolboys in spite of the grim situation.


	6. Chapter 6

The first year after Shiro left for Galaxy Garrison was the hardest for Keith.

In the months that led up to Shiro's high school graduation, the younger boy had stuck to the teenager like a particularly needy parasite. Most of the time he pestered the older boy for more flying lessons on the hover bike. Especially after Shiro had kept his promise to let him pilot the bike himself, much to Keith's delight, and Elaine's consternation. Or he would hover over Shiro with a never-ending stream of questions while the older boy tinkered with some new gadget or upgrade for the bike. More rarely he would curl up quietly next to Shiro on the sofa to share a bowl of popcorn while the two of them watched a video on the television. Shiro never seemed to mind, and Keith soaked up any attention the teenager was willing to give him like a sponge.

In retrospect, that had probably made Shiro's eventual departure all the more difficult. But Keith couldn't find it in himself to regret the time they'd spent together. When the time finally came he had put on a brave face at the bus station to see Shiro off. Hugged the older boy tightly when it came to say goodbye, but forced himself to let go before it became awkward. If afterwards he'd gone back to their room, crawled into Shiro's neatly made bed, and sobbed into the teenager's pillow for most of the night, well, at least there was no one else to see it.

It had gotten easier. Each phone call and letter from Shiro lessened the ever-present tightness in the twelve-year-old's chest a fraction. Some days he could even pretend that it wasn't there at all. But he never stopped missing Shiro, and counted down the days until the winter break when the teenager had promised to come home for a visit.

Keith was ecstatic. He felt like he was nearly vibrating with uncontrollable anticipation for the entire week leading up to the day they would pick Shiro up from the bus station. Elaine was nothing short of a saint for having put up with him. Especially since by that point it was only Keith and Elaine in the house now, since the twins had been adopted a few months earlier. When Keith had asked her if she was going to foster any more children, Elaine had laughed and told him that he was more than a handful for her all on his own. That might have offended him, if she hadn't been smiling affectionately at him when she said it.

Keith had barely been able to stand still as they waited for the bus to pull into the terminal and for the passengers to disembark. When he first saw Shiro after so long, Keith's instinct was to run up to the eighteen-year-old and hug him to within an inch of his life. But something stopped him.

For some reason he hadn't expected Shiro to look so different from the last time Keith had seen him. He almost looked like a different person dressed in his Galaxy Garrison uniform with his hair shorn short in the back and sides, with only a bit of dark fringe falling into his face. But it wasn't just that, it was the way the older boy held himself. He stood straighter, more confidently. Like he had finally found where he belonged…

Then Shiro spotted them and his eyes lit up and face split into a wide grin. He waved and Keith finally allowed himself to rush forward and hug the older boy tightly around the waist like he'd wanted to all along. Shiro laughed, nearly stumbling when Keith latched onto him, but he didn't protest, even though Keith knew he must have been wrinkling his uniform terribly.

"Miss me squirt?" Shiro teased him, ruffling Keith's long hair, and the younger boy merely nodded and hugged the teenager even tighter.

No matter how much he had changed, or would change, he was still Shiro.

* * *

 

The storm seemed to be getting worse rather than showing any sign of abating. Keith sat in the Black Lion's pilot's seat and fiddled with the communication's controls. Hoping against hope that he would pick up a signal. Any signal. But just as before there was nothing but static. He couldn't reach the castle or any of the other lions.

Keith sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the dark strands in frustration. A soft sound behind him had Keith turning to look over his shoulder.

Shiro shifted in his sleep but didn't wake. Keith watched the older man's restless slumber and felt the hot knife of worry twisting in his chest. Shiro wasn't doing well, no matter what the older man might say just to stop Keith from worrying about him.

Shiro was sleeping more and more and he was deathly pale. His skin was clammy and hot to the touch. Shiro was in a lot of pain and he couldn't hide it no matter how hard he tried. The two days they'd been stuck here, Shiro had barely been able to drink anything and he had been unable to eat anything either. He needed to get Shiro help. They needed to get back to the castle. If this went on for much longer...

"Keith...?"

Shiro's soft murmur was barely above a whisper but it had Keith moving instantly. He knelt beside the older Paladin just as Shiro's eyes fluttered open. He offered Keith a faint smile and it tore at the younger man's heart to see Shiro like this.

"Hey, want some water?" Keith asked reaching out to brush the sweaty fringe off of Shiro's forehead. Fuck... he was burning up.

Shiro shook his head, and though Keith frowned he wasn't surprised. He usually refused, claiming he was too nauseous to keep it down. As much as he wanted to he didn't try to encourage Shiro to drink knowing it would be futile. Instead he reached for a clean piece of gauze and wet it with some of the water from the pouch.

"You shouldn't waste it," Shiro muttered, but sighed in relief when Keith pressed the damp cloth to his forehead.

"I'm not _wasting_ it," Keith snapped.

"Keith…"

"Shut up," The red paladin muttered and kept wiping Shiro's flushed face with the damp cloth. Keith clenched his jaw, doing his best to stay calm, but it wasn't easy. For all he knew Shiro could be dying... and there was nothing he could do about it.

Shiro remained silent and let Keith work without further protest. His eyes drifted closed when Keith ran the wet cloth down his neck, and Shiro didn't try to stop him when Keith shifted the blanket out of the way so he could do the same to the older man's chest. Keith wasn't sure how much his efforts were doing to cool the other man off, but he hoped wiping some of the stale sweat way made Shiro feel a little better at least.

As he worked, he couldn't help but take in every mark on Shiro's flushed skin. The fever seemed to make every scar stand out in sharp relief. Made them impossible to ignore.

"Not too pretty huh?" Shiro muttered wryly and Keith's head snapped up from where he'd unconsciously paused over one particularly nasty scar just below Shiro's left collar bone to find the older man watching him through hooded eyes.

"That's not... what I was thinking," Keith stammered, feeling a little embarrassed about his momentary slip and guilt for Shiro's misinterpretation.

"It's okay," Shiro said, and Keith shook his head angrily.

"Stop saying that. It's not... this could have killed you. So many could have..." Keith clenched his jaw so tight that his teeth ached. He had thought Shiro had died. It was a miracle that he had survived. Any one of these wounds could have killed him, and Keith would have never known what had happened to him...

And Shiro thought he cared how the scars _looked_? Shiro had never been particularly vain about his looks before, but... he supposed this was different. Looking into Shiro's eyes now he could see that Shiro _had_ been worried. He'd been afraid Keith would see him differently. His hair, his arm, the scars... Was this why...?

"You should probably change the bandage," Shiro suddenly suggested, though he didn't look happy about it. He knew that Shiro was probably trying to distract him, but it also needed to be done, so Keith merely nodded.

"Okay. I'll be quick."

Shiro nodded, appearing more resigned than anything, and Keith gathered the supplies he would need. He began to gently cut off the bandage around the older paladin's middle and peel it away as carefully as he could.

Shiro winced, and his fingers clenched a little, but he didn't make a sound.

When Keith pulled away the last bandage, his eyes widened with shock and he dropped the soiled gauze with a gasp. The 'glue' had held together the shredded skin well, in spite of everything. But the edges of the claw marks were a bright-inflamed red. What was worse, however, was the glowing black… veins that seemed to radiate outward from the wound, spreading all across Shiro's right side. It hadn't been like that before…

Shiro noticed his reaction and lifted his head slightly to look down at himself.

"Oh," He didn't look or sound all that surprised, which for some reason, only terrified Keith more.

"Shiro? What… is that?"

Shiro didn't answer him right away, his head dropping back against the pillow, and the older paladin stared at the ceiling for several long moments before answering.

"Haggar."

"What's a haggar?" Keith asked in confusion, and Shiro shook his head.

"No. Not what, who. She's one of Zarkon's druids. She's responsible for this," Shiro lifted his mechanical arm slightly for emphasis. Keith's stomach knotted in fear at Shiro's words. Not because of the explanation, but because Shiro was avoiding answering the question. Shiro being evasive was never good.

"Shiro, what is it. Tell me," Keith demanded.

The older paladin sighed heavily and finally looked at him. Keith felt all the blood drain from his face in dread.

"Poison."


	7. Chapter 7

"Keith. Earth to Keith. Am I boring you?" Shiro's words accompanied by a nudge to his shoulder pulled the fourteen-year-old out of his thoughts.

"No! No, of course not. I'm sorry, I was… sorry…" Keith stammered, blushing bright red, and thoroughly embarrassed. Shiro had been talking about one of his classes at Galaxy Garrison. Specifically, detailing some of the flight simulations he'd been working on mastering lately and usually Keith would be listening with rapt attention. But tonight, Keith's mind had been wandering, and to his shame, Shiro had noticed.

"I'm just kidding, Squirt," Shiro said, ruffling Keith's hair, now long enough to reach his shoulders, and the teenager had to resist leaning into the comforting touch. He was blushing even more now for a completely different reason. Shiro continued his voice no longer amused but concerned, "You've been distracted all night. Something on your mind?"

Keith shrugged and looked away to where the sun was setting into the horizon painting the entire sky in flames. Shiro had only just come home earlier today for a brief visit, having been granted a short leave after returning to Earth from his first real mission. A simple flight to the moon and back, but it was still a pretty big deal. After dinner the two of them had taken the hover bike out into the desert to their favorite spot, something of a tradition now, to talk privately and catch up.

Keith had always looked forward to these times, when it was just he and Shiro. But lately… he found himself feeling almost… uncomfortable around the young man. Sometimes when Shiro looked at him, or touched him, he'd get butterflies in his stomach and start blushing. And he noticed things about Shiro that he really hadn't noticed before. Like earlier today, Keith had been sitting cross-legged on his bed, hugging his pillow, waiting for Shiro to finish changing out of his uniform so they could go for a ride. Shiro had been talking about his trip to the moon, Keith had been listening intently… and then Shiro had taken off his shirt.

The teenager's breath had caught in his throat and his mouth suddenly went dry. Of course Keith had noticed that Shiro had been… filling out… over the last few years. At twenty, Shiro was hardly a boy anymore, and his training at Galaxy Garrison had added and defined quite a bit of muscle to Shiro's already tall frame. Keith had noticed… and envied it a little… Even though he was now taller than Elaine by a few inches, he was still quite short when compared to Shiro, and thin as a twig.

But he had never really… appreciated the changes before. Shiro looked… nice. Very, very, nice.

Shiro was still talking, his back to Keith, mercifully oblivious as he started removing his trousers. The butterflies in Keith's stomach morphed into a hornets nest and to his mortification he felt a stirring below the belt.

Elaine had had 'The Talk' with him several months ago. She had reassured him that it was normal. All boys went through it, he was just growing up, and he shouldn't feel embarrassed. Yet it was difficult not to get embarrassed when _it_ would get hard for seemingly no reason at very random times.

It had certainly never happened around _Shiro_ before.

Before Keith could embarrass himself further, he jumped up from the bed and ran out the door, a hasty excuse that he was going to get the hover bike ready, thrown over his shoulder. If Shiro had thought he was being weird, he didn't say anything.

Until now, when he'd caught Keith daydreaming and of course he wanted to know why. But Keith couldn't possibly tell him that he'd been thinking about Shiro with his shirt off, and how nice he had looked. So his panicking mind scrambled for something else, anything else. Well, he'd been thinking about it for a while now, he supposed this was as good a time as any…

"I've been thinking about enlisting. At Galaxy Garrison," Keith finally blurted out.

Shiro was quiet for a long time, and then to the teenager's surprise, the young man started to laugh. Keith's eyes flew to Shiro, wide, and not a little bit hurt. That definitely hadn't been the reaction Keith was expecting. Shiro noticed, and quickly started waving his hand while he tried to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. I just couldn't help imagining how some of my instructors would react to having you in their classes. I think they might finally retire…" Shiro said, still snickering a little.

Keith made a face and shoved Shiro hard, making the young man fall backwards onto the ground.

"Jerk," Keith muttered, not a little bit miffed, and crossed his arms across his chest. His lower lip stuck out in an exaggerated pout, if only to keep himself from smiling. It was no secret that Keith was a… handful. He didn't like being told what to do, especially if he disagreed with it, and often got into trouble because of it. Keith and 'authority figures' didn't really get along, so he could see why Shiro might be… concerned about that.

But he didn't have to be an ass about it.

At least it had effectively distracted Keith from his other problem.

Shiro sat up and dusted himself off ineffectively, then scooted closer to Keith to wrap an arm around the teenager's thin shoulders. Keith elbowed him in the side lightly, but he didn't try to pull away.

"Were you being serious? You really want to join?" Shiro asked him, serious now.

Keith shrugged again, and Shiro sighed softly.

"It's a serious commitment, Keith. Not a choice to make lightly."

"I know," Keith replied, trying to sound just as serious as Shiro. He'd been listening to Shiro talk about Galaxy Garrison for years now. Of course he knew how serious it was. Shiro was quiet for a while before he spoke again.

"Well, you've got a few years of school left to make your decision. But if you're serious, you'll have to bring up your grades. Study hard for the entrance exams. I assume you're going to try for the piloting program?"

Keith nodded.

Shiro smiled at him.

"Well, let me know when you make your decision. I'll help. I'll even write you a recommendation letter, if you want," Shiro offered and Keith looked at him in surprise. Recommendation letters, especially from the right people, went a long way to helping new recruits get into the program. Shiro was at the top of his class, the best pilot that had come out of the Galaxy Garrison training program in decades. Shiro said they were already talking about making him an officer as soon as he graduated. Practically unheard of. A recommendation letter from Shiro would definitely get Keith into the program…

But it would look bad for Shiro if Keith couldn't live up to those expectations.

As though reading his thoughts, Shiro hugged him tighter and ruffled his hair again affectionately.

"You'll do great. You can already fly circles around any of the pilots there right now."

 _Including me_ , went unsaid.

While that might be an exaggeration, a blush stole across Keith's cheeks nonetheless at the praise. He couldn't have stopped the smile that spread across his face if he tried and he hugged Shiro back tightly.

 _I love you._ Keith thought, for not the first time.

* * *

 

Keith paced back and forth in the cockpit.

"How long?" He demanded.

"Keith…" The red paladin could see that Shiro didn't want to answer him, but he refused to relent. He had to know.

"How long!"

How long did Shiro have to live? How long before the poison spreading through his body killed him? How long could they afford to wait for a rescue? How long…

"I don't know, a few days maybe." Shiro's soft, resigned, words made Keith stagger as though he'd been struck. His fists clenched at his sides, but he barely felt the discomfort in his palms from the burns. He was too angry. To scared.

"Keith…"

He could feel himself shaking. Days… Better than hours, or minutes, he supposed. But no more. Shiro seemed very sure about that. As though he'd seen it before. Perhaps he had. Perhaps he knew exactly what to expect.

No… no no no…

"Keith!" Shiro's voice cut through Keith's growing panic. Not so much the volume, but the note of pain in the older paladin's voice. Shiro was sitting up, as much as he could. Clutching his side, his face twisted in pain, but it was the concern that did him in.

It was too much. Too much. Shiro was dying! And Shiro was worried about him?

With a low growl, Keith swung and punched one of the metal walls. Again, he barely felt the pain that traveled through his hand and up his arm. It seemed pale, insignificant, to the feeling of his heart, his soul, being shredded to bits.

"Keith…"

There was a low mournful growl in the back of Keith's mind. The black lion was grieving with him. Keith closed his eyes and bit his lip so hard he tasted blood.

Shiro was _dying_ , and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it.

"There has to be something… something we can do…" Keith insisted, looking to Shiro with pleading eyes. The older man looked back to him, his expression sad, and there were no reassuring words.

Keith closed his eyes, a sob catching in his throat.

"Keith, please…" Shiro whispered, and how could he ignore that plea? Keith all but threw himself to his knees next to the other man, and hugged Shiro as tightly as he dared without hurting him. Shiro's arms came around him, solid and warm and Keith cried. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried in front of anyone. Not even Shiro. But now he couldn't hold back.

"There has to be something we can do…" Keith whispered again.

"There isn't…"

Keith shook his head. No. If they could get Shiro back to the castle, to a healing pod... if Allura were here, she could help. Keith was certain of it. She had healed a whole damned planet! Surely she could do something for Shiro. But there was no way to get in touch with the Castle of Lions while the storm raged on, and it was showing no signs of abating any time soon. In fact, it had only seemed to grow worse as the hours passed. What if it lasted for weeks? Months?

Shiro only had days.

"There's the emergency beacon," Keith suggested. It would be like a bright neon billboard telling everyone within several systems where they were. Including the Galra. But at this point, Keith was willing to risk it. Hell, if the Galra found them first, it might not be such a bad thing. They were most likely to have the antidote for Shiro.

"It's too dangerous," Shiro said firmly, and Keith pulled away from the older paladin to glare at him with angry eyes.

"We have to! There's no other way. I'm not going to just sit here and watch you die!" Keith was willing to take that risk if it meant saving Shiro's life.

"I'd rather die than go back, Keith," Shiro's soft, matter of fact, words shattered Keith to the core. Made any other protest die in Keith's throat, his grief almost literally choking him.

 _I'd rather die_.

"You _will_ die…"

"I know…"

Keith felt his world shattering around him as he collapsed against Shiro again and cried. Shiro continued to hold him, his fingers running through Keith's hair much as he had when Keith was still a child. Only this time it brought Keith no comfort.


	8. Chapter 8

At sixteen, Keith surprisingly wasn't the youngest to enlist at Galaxy Garrison that year. When he joined there were already two girls training in communications who were both fifteen. And there was talk about a boy who'd once graduated as an engineer at the age of thirteen.

Still, most of the new recruits were several years older than him. So naturally, there was a lot of speculation how Keith had managed to enlist at such a young age. Especially in the fighter pilot program, which was arguably one of the most difficult and competitive programs at Galaxy Garrison. The rumors that flew around speculating about him varied from amusing to downright offensive. It probably didn't help that Keith never confirmed or denied any of them. That combined with his reserved demeanor, smart mouth, and quick temper when provoked, had unsurprisingly set him up to be something of an outcast amongst the other recruits.

Not that Keith really cared what the other recruits thought of him. There were only a two people in this world whose opinions really mattered to him.

Elaine was one of those people, and unsurprisingly she hadn't been too thrilled with his decision. But she knew better than to try to talk him out of a choice once he'd made up his mind. So she hadn't put up too much of a fuss when Keith had dropped out of school, gotten his GED, and then threw all his energy into getting accepted into Galaxy Garrison.

Shiro was, of course, was the other person, and far less surprised by Keith's decision. Keith had never been a very patient person, and probably never would be. Still, once Keith had taken his entrance exams, Shiro kept his promise about writing Keith a recommendation letter to help him get in. By that point, Shiro had become something of a legend among the younger cadets, having graduated from Galaxy Garrison nearly a year early at the top of his class as a junior officer, and already had several high profile successful missions under his belt.

So, despite his age and slightly sketchy education, Keith had been accepted into the program.

Keith had been very careful to make sure not many people knew about his connection to Shiro. Really, it was better for both of them that way. It was better for Keith, so he could build his own reputation on his own merits without constantly being compared to his 'older brother'. And it was better for Shiro so that when Keith screwed up or mouthed off to one of his instructors, it didn't reflect badly upon Shiro too.

Keith was doing well in his classes. Especially in his flight simulations. As Shiro had once predicted, Keith flew circles around most of the other cadets. Some of the instructors as well. Keith loved it. But he couldn't wait until he got the chance to fly a real ship. Shiro had laughed when Keith had told him that, and told him he needed to be patient.

Yeah, that one thing Keith wasn't very good at.

But the workload of his other classes kept Keith busy enough that he didn't think about it too often. In fact, the only real downside of his classes so far had been his lack of time to see Shiro. Between Keith's classes and Shiro's missions off planet, he didn't get to see the other man as much as he had hoped. While Keith hadn't joined Galaxy Garrison just to be able to spend more time with Shiro, he had considered it one of the perks. But on the other hand, not being able to spend much time together could be considered a blessing in disguise, considering Keith's… problem.

One that Keith had tried to ignore or deny for a long time now.

It wasn't even all that surprising. No one with eyes could deny that Shiro was very attractive, and he had been such an important part of Keith's life for so long… of course Shiro would end up being Keith's first real crush. He'd tried to tell himself it wasn't weird. It wasn't as though they were _actually_ related. But despite all logic Keith was afraid of what Shiro might think of him if he found out it.

While Keith might not care what most people thought of him, Shiro's opinion meant everything to him, and Shiro had never gave any indication that he thought of Keith as anything but a 'little brother'. The last thing Keith wanted was to say or do anything that might damage their relationship. Shiro was too important to him. So he did his best to hide it. If sometimes a simple touch to his arm made him blush, or he stared at the older man for just a little too long, Shiro didn't seem to notice. Or if he did, he kindly never mentioned it.

But it became a problem when Keith began to suspect it was more than just a crush.

Keith had loved Shiro for years. Now he was afraid he might be more than a little bit _in_ love with him.

Keith sighed heavily as he stared out over the desert from the rooftop of one of the classrooms. The sight was familiar enough to comfort while at the same time make him feel homesick. Technically cadets weren't allowed up here, but that didn't stop many from sneaking up anyway. Usually to make out if the rumors were true. But it was dark in the corner he had holed up in and Keith knew the guards patrol routes by heart, so there was little chance of him getting caught.

It was the perfect place for him to come and brood.

Midterms had just ended and most of the recruits were in high spirits now that they had a small break from all the intense studying leading up to it. The normal curfews had been relaxed and many of the older cadets had gone off to the small nearby town to party. Underage cadets, of course, weren't allowed into the bars, but that didn't stop many of them from trying to sneak in anyway.

Surprisingly, Keith had been invited along by a few of the other cadets. Keith hadn't really felt like going. Had almost declined. But then he'd remembered Shiro's recent remark about trying to make new friends and get out more, and he'd accepted the invitation, despite his better judgement.

It probably would have been better if he hadn't gone. Because apparently not only the cadets were enjoying the rare night off. Many of the officers were too. Including Shiro.

Keith hadn't known Shiro would be there. Thankfully the older man hadn't seen him. Not that Keith was worried about Shiro ratting him out. In fact, under normal circumstances, Keith would have been excited to see Shiro and spend some time with him. But Shiro hadn't been alone. He'd been with a group of other officers all around Shiro's age, and one of them, a pretty young woman with long blonde hair and very blue eyes, was very obviously flirting with him. The worst part was Shiro seemed to be flirting back. Shiro was smiling at her, listening intently while she talked. When she trailed her fingers up Shiro's arm, her body language open and inviting, Shiro shifted even closer, whispered something in her ear, as his arm slipped around her waist…

That was when Keith had turned and walked out of the bar before he did something stupid. He kept walking all the way back to the base by himself. Jealousy burned like hot acid in his stomach every step of the way.

Because he wanted Shiro to look at him that way. Wanted Shiro to touch him that way. He wanted to know what it felt like to kiss Shiro…

That was when Keith realized he might have a problem.

And he had no idea what to do about it.

* * *

 

Hours later, Shiro was fast asleep, but it was not a restful slumber. He was shivering and mumbling softly, his brow furrowed, either in pain or from bad dreams. Keith watched him. His tears long dried, but the pain lingered. Keith had already believed Shiro dead once and it had nearly killed him. He couldn't stand here and watch Shiro die… he just couldn't.

Keith came to a decision.

He first made sure there was plenty of food, water, and medical supplies within Shiro's easy reach. He absolutely hated the idea of leaving Shiro alone, but what else could he do? If he could get back to the Red Lion and activate the emergency beacon, then maybe someone would find them. If it was Allura and the other paladins, all the better. If it were the Galra… then Keith would deal with them. He would make sure they didn't go looking for the Black Lion. They wouldn't find Shiro.

They wouldn't hurt Shiro again.

Keith brushed the white fringe off Shiro's sweaty forehead, and leaned down to press a quick kiss there. Keith frowned at the intense heat he felt radiating off of the older man, and it only strengthened his resolve.

"I love you, Takashi," Keith whispered against the feverish skin, his voice barely above a breath.

Then he stood, gathered his gloves and his helmet and started for the elevator. The black lion growled in his mind. It knew what he was going to do and it didn't like it. For a moment Keith was afraid it wouldn't let him leave, but surprisingly the lion's mouth opened for him to let him out without a fight.

Keith staggered when he stepped outside and the first gust of wind hit him, nearly sending him to his hands and knees, but he managed to keep his footing. The storm had definitely gotten worse, but that wouldn't stop him. Nothing would. Not this damned planet. Not the Galra. Nothing. He was going to find a way to save Shiro or die trying. Because if he didn't save him… then Keith might as well be dead anyway.

The pod was nearly completely buried by sand and it took Keith a while before he was able to dig it out enough to get inside. When he finally did, it took him several tries just to get the pod started. The blowing sand probably wasn't doing the propulsion systems any good. The strong winds rocked the craft violently.

He just had to make it back to the Red Lion. If the pod could hold out for that long...

Luck, apparently, was not on his side. He was barely halfway back to the Red Lion when the pod shuddered and died completely, and nothing Keith tried could get it going again.

"Shit. Shitshitshit," Keith cursed over and over.

 _Maybe this was a bad idea_.

It hadn't been the first time the thought had passed through Keith's head in the last several hours. More like the hundredth. But bad idea or no, it was the only choice he had. So he left the relative safety of the pod, determined to make the remainder of the trip on foot if he had to.

After an hour or so of trekking through the shifting dunes and blowing sand Keith was almost beginning to regret his decision. He had never felt so exhausted in his whole life and his entire body ached from being pelted constantly with sand and rocks. Thankfully the paladin armor protected him from the harsh sand and debris blowing in the vicious wind, but he would probably be black and blue all over by the time he made it.

If he made it… It was turning out to be a very big if.

His legs shook with every step he took, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep moving. Sheer will alone might not be enough. Every inch was a fight against the storm. He could barely even see. If not for the tracker in his helmet pointing him in the right direction, he would have no idea where he was going.

Another hour… maybe a little longer… and he should be there. He would make it. He _had_ to.

Keith took shelter near an outcropping of rocks that shielded him somewhat from the wind. He would rest here for a few minutes. Just a few, enough to catch his breath, before he continued on.

He hoped Shiro was ok.

Keith had been gone for several hours at this point. Likely Shiro had woken by now, realized he was gone, and what Keith was planning. He could only hope that Shiro wasn't too angry with him. Both for leaving him alone, and disobeying his orders. Hopefully Shiro would understand why he had to do this, and eventually forgive him… if everything turned out all right.

Again, very big if…

Keith sighed heavily and pushed off from the stone he'd been leaning against. He wished he could say the small rest had invigorated him, but he only felt more tired. He continued on regardless, his determination not wavering for a moment. He was concentrating so hard on putting one foot in front of the other, that he didn't notice it at first when the sand beneath his feet began to shift strangely.

Then all of a sudden something shot out of the ground beneath him, and Keith was far too tired to jump out of the way in time. Something tentacle-like wrapped around his leg, tightly enough that he cried out in pain from the crushing pressure, then to his horror he felt it pulling him down into the sand.

Keith activated his bayard, sliced through the tentacle, and then leapt back as vicious orange blood sprayed everywhere as the severed tentacle flopped around on the sand at his feet. There was a screeching growl beneath him, almost lost in the sound of the storm, and more tentacles erupted from the sand around him.

Keith swung his sword over and over as he scrambled away from the tentacles, but there always seemed to be more, and the way the sand kept shifting under his feet made it hard for him to keep his footing. The slippery orange blood that splattered around, and on, him didn't help. Finally the tentacles disappeared back into the sand but Keith didn't let his guard down. He had a feeling whatever was attacking him wasn't done yet.

Turned out he was right.

Keith fell as something very big and very ugly suddenly erupted from the sand practically underneath him. It had the appearance of a giant armored maggot with a huge cavernous mouth and row upon row of sharp pointed teeth. More tentacles shot out of that mouth, wrapped around his leg once more, and began pulling him along the sand towards the mouth.

He managed to slice through the tentacle and get back to his feet, but another one of the monsters erupted from the sand. Followed by another. Another. Keith turned and ran as fast as he could towards the rocks he'd been taking shelter near. He had to get out of the sand. Had to get to high ground.

The things were pretty fast considering they didn't seem to have any legs. The tentacles kept wrapping around him. He kept cutting them off, but the effort was taking its toll on him. One of them actually managed to pierce his armor on his thigh making Keith cry out loudly in pain before he managed to slice it off.

Run. Just run.

He was getting dizzy.

His muscles felt stiff.

He reached the rocks. Climb. Don't think. Just climb.

His fingers felt numb. It was hard to hold onto the rocks.

Another tentacle wrapped around his leg, dragging him back down.

He tried to cut it off but the bayard slipped from his numb fingers.

Keith clung to the rock as tightly as he could but it was too strong.

He was going to fall.

A near deafening roar took him by surprise and almost made him lose his hold on the rock. There was a loud crash and the tentacle went slack around him. Keith twisted around as much as he could, blinking against the darkness seeping in at the edge of his vision, and somehow wasn't surprised to see giant yellow eyes staring back at him.

The Black Lion. One of the disgusting monsters was crushed under its gigantic paw and the other monsters were slithering back underneath the sand, scared away by the much larger predator. The lion leaned in closer to him and opened its mouth. Keith allowed himself to let go of the rock face and landed heavily on the cold metal floor, breathing hard.

The mouth shut around him protectively, blocking out the storm.

It seemed like a long time before Keith found the strength to move, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. Somehow he got to his feet and swayed as he made his way to the elevator that would take him to the cockpit. He felt like he was marching towards his own execution.

The doors opened and Shiro turned to look at him from the pilot's chair. For some reason this surprised Keith. For a moment he'd almost believed the Black Lion had come after him on its own. But Shiro had done it, he'd managed to pilot the damaged lion even though he was obviously in tremendous pain and looked ready to pass out any second.

Shiro also didn't look too happy with him.

Those were Keith's last thoughts before his legs buckled beneath him.


	9. Chapter 9

The ship turned and rolled, and an asteroid barely missed clipping his left wing. He slipped between two more asteroids before they could collide and cut off his path. Keith pulled up on the controls hard, and wove in and out of a cluster of smaller asteroids. Then sped over the surface of a larger one. He pushed the fighter into a nosedive, and flew into a tight cave barely bigger than the fighter he was piloting. It was a risky move, the asteroid was spinning on a collision course with another large rock and he only had milliseconds to adjust for the unpredictable movements of the asteroid inside the cave. He reached the other side of the cave, jerked the controls again in another sharp turn, and barely missed being crushed between the two huge asteroids when they finally collided.

This was one of Keith's favorite simulations. It forced him to make split second calculations and pushed his piloting skills to the limit. It was one of the most difficult simulations, and not many cadets could pilot through it successfully. He had crashed the simulation so many times the first few times he'd attempted it, it was almost embarrassing. But each time he learned a little more from his mistakes and each time he got a little farther in the simulation.

Shiro of course, held the current high score in the simulation. Many cadets believed it could never be surpassed. Everyone who had tried had never even come close.

Keith was determined to be the one to finally beat that score.

Two more asteroids were heading straight for him at high velocity, Keith jerked the controls hard to the right then left, fluidly twisting between the two and then pulling up fast to avoid another. A smaller asteroid clipped him on the underside of the craft, but it wasn't enough to cause any real damage to the fighter. Just enough throw to him off course a fraction. That fraction turned out to be too much, however, when another asteroid seemed to come at him out of nowhere and he couldn't avoid it fast enough.

The simulation ended when his fighter went up in a fireball, and Keith pushed himself away from the controls with a sharp curse. He'd been so close…

He heard the sound of someone clapping behind him and Keith spun around in the chair, startled. When he saw who it was however, his almost panicked expression melted into a wide grin.

"You're back!"

Shiro had been away for several months flying some important ambassador to one of the Mars colonies. Keith hadn't expected to see the other man for a while yet.

"I just got in," Shiro explained, smiling at him, as he stepped away from the doorway he'd been leaning against while watching Keith, "You know, it's against the rules to use the simulator without the supervision of an instructor."

Yes, he knew that. While the simulation was not exactly dangerous, it was still a very expensive machine, and wasn't meant to be 'played with'. He could get in big trouble if he was caught. Which, he supposed, technically he had been. But while the older man's words were technically a rebuke, Shiro's tone was more amused than chastising. So Keith merely grinned again.

"Well, you're here now…" Keith replied with a small shrug.

"I guess I am," Shiro said, giving Keith's shoulder an affectionate squeeze, "That was some pretty impressive flying, cadet."

Keith ducked his head to hide the flush staining his cheeks from both the touch and praise.

"Not good enough to beat your score though," Keith said, glancing up to the screen where Shiro's name flashed along with his 'unbeatable' score. Shiro laughed, and ruffled Keith's hair playfully.

"Yet."

"Yet," Keith agreed with a small nod, and then changed the subject, "How long are you back?"

Shiro smiled from where he perched on the edge of the communications station.

"A few weeks, at least. It'll be nice to enjoy Earth's gravity for a while. You never expect to miss something so simple when you're in space for months," Shiro laughed.

 _I missed you_. Keith wanted to say, but of course he didn't. He couldn't say things like that to the other man anymore, because he was afraid he would reveal too much of his feelings. So instead he asked, "Anything planned?"

Shiro shrugged.

"Not really. Might hook up with Karen if she's interested," Shiro said lightly and Keith's lips tightened in annoyance. Karen. The woman that Keith had seen Shiro with months ago. She and Shiro had 'hooked up' a few times since then. Shiro had even introduced her to Keith once. She seemed nice. But… Keith couldn't help the ugly feeling of jealousy he felt every time Shiro mentioned her or he saw them together. Shiro had told him they weren't dating; they just occasionally 'hung out'. Keith knew exactly what _that_ meant. Shiro was almost annoyingly cheerful after spending the night with the other officer. The two of them might not be officially 'dating' now, but if this kept up that might change.

Keith had been arguing with himself for months trying to decide what he should do. Keith was afraid if he told Shiro the truth, it would risk ruining what they had. But if he didn't… Keith might lose him to someone else. He had accepted that what he felt for Shiro wasn't just going to go away. But he had kind of hoped it might get easier to deal with in time. Maybe…

But patience had never been one of Keith's virtues. Shiro was always lecturing him about it…

"Keith, you ok?" Shiro asked, pulling Keith out of his thoughts. Shiro's expression was one of concern, and Keith offered him a smile to put the other man at ease.

"Of course," He said as lightly as possible, hoping his nervousness didn't show. Because Keith had just come to a decision that was as frightening as it was exhilarating.

"All right. Get up then, I feel like flying."

Keith rolled his eyes, but got out of the chair anyway.

"You just got back from flying a real space ship for months," Keith reminded him, and hovered by Shiro's shoulder when the older man sat down.

"True. But sometimes this is more fun," Shiro replied before starting up the simulation Keith had just flown. Keith stood beside Shiro's chair and watched, almost transfixed. How the older pilot's hands moved over the controls. The look of intense concentration in Shiro's eyes. Really, watching Shiro fly was a thing of beauty, and Keith couldn't help but drink in the sight.

In the end, Shiro beat his old score, raising the bar for Keith that much higher. Keith merely shrugged when Shiro had given him a rather smug smile. He didn't mind. It would just make it all that much more satisfying when he finally _did_ beat Shiro's score.

Shiro got up and suggested they call it a night. He looked tired, no surprise, since he'd just gotten back. Keith bit his lip and shored up his courage. Now or never…

"Takashi, wait…" He said, reaching out to lightly grasp Shiro's arm before the other man could leave. The older man looked at him with a bit of surprise because Keith almost never called him by his given name. It had always felt too… intimate before. But now it seemed only fitting, considering what Keith was about to do.

"What is it?" Shiro's expression was a mix between curious and concerned.

"I… I need to tell you something," Boy, that didn't sound ominous at all. Shiro's expression was edging more towards concerned. Especially when Keith opened his mouth but no sound seemed to emerge.

Shiro's warm hand came up to cover Keith's that still rested on his arm. He gave Keith a reassuring smile that just made him want to melt.

"It's ok. You know you can tell me anything," Shiro said.

Keith swallowed hard and nodded. But in the end, Keith found he still couldn't find the words he wanted to say. So instead he stepped into Shiro's personal space, took the older man's face between his hands, and Keith kissed him.

Keith had never kissed anyone before. He wasn't sure whether or not he was even doing it right. But probably not if Shiro's reaction, or lack there of, was any indication.

Then Shiro's shock apparently wore off as Keith's hands were grabbed and the older man stepped back away from him. Shiro's eyes were wide and his mouth hung open a little. Obviously Keith had taken him completely by surprise, and from Shiro's expression, it wasn't the good kind of surprise.

Shame filled him then and Keith had quickly wrenched himself out of Shiro's hold.

"Keith…"

"I'm sorry," Keith stammered, cutting Shiro off before he could say or do anything they might both regret. Even though Keith already had that pretty well covered, "I… didn't mean… please. Forget that ever happened. I'm sorry, Shiro…"

It felt like a knife twisting in Keith's chest as he turned and fled the simulator.

He heard Shiro call after him, but he didn't stop running.

* * *

 

Keith woke feeling like he'd gone ten rounds with a wood chipper and lost. His joints ached, every muscle in his body felt like it had been pulled far beyond its limit, and nearly every inch of him was covered in a myriad of colorful bruises. It took him a while to realize where he was. On the floor in the cockpit of one of the lions, a light blanket draped over his almost nude body. At first he couldn't remember what had happened. The pounding in his head like the worst hangover he'd ever experienced probably contributed to that. But the hazy pieces of his memories quickly solidified. The wormhole. The planet. The storm. The crash. The monsters. Shiro… and the sudden flood of adrenaline helped burn the rest of the cobwebs away.

"Shiro," he groaned the other paladin's name as began to push himself up on weak arms that trembled from the effort of holding up his own weight. But it turned out the other pilot wasn't far as a metal hand came to rest in the center of his chest, pushing him back flat with ease.

"Easy, don't try to move yet," Shiro's voice was stern but not unkind. The older Paladin was kneeling next to him. Pale and trembling, Keith wasn't even sure how Shiro was managing to stay upright. Keith could see that the black webbing of veins underneath his skin had spread. Now they covered most of the right side of Shiro's chest, all the way up his neck.

Despite Shiro's words, Keith moved to sit up again. Worry for the other man mixed with adrenaline allowed him to move despite his body's protests.

"Keith..."

"You shouldn't be up," Keith protested.

"Neither should you," Shiro countered. Keith was about to argue when a sharp pain in his thigh made him hiss. He looked down where the blanket had fallen away. He had been stripped down to his underwear and saw a bandage wrapped expertly around his upper thigh. Then he remembered. The barb on the tentacle-thing that had punctured his armor. Shiro must have...

"You're lucky that venom was only a paralytic and not lethal," Shiro chided and Keith felt tears burning in his eyes in spite of himself. Shiro had come after him. Shiro had saved him. Shiro had taken care of him despite being gravely ill himself.

"Keith..." Shiro's voice was gentle. His fingers warm where they touched Keith's face wiping away... tears. He was crying. When had he started crying? Then Shiro's arms were wrapping around him, pulling him close. Shiro's lips brushed over the skin of his forehead at his hairline and all Keith could do was cling to the older man's shoulders.

"Breathe, Keith. Just breathe," He heard Shiro's voice, soft but comforting.

Eventually the panic began to ebb, but Keith continued to sob uncontrollably. Shiro's metal hand slid around the back of Keith's neck and Shiro shifted. Keith went willingly, and soon they were both lying down, side by side. He curled up next to the older man to bury his face against Shiro's shoulder and Shiro's fingers moved into his hair petting him slowly. Keith's tears began to slow. His trembling lessened. Eventually he could speak without choking on his own words.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" Keith whispered. Not for what he had tried to do, but because he had failed to do it. That one small chance to save Shiro, and Keith had failed, "How long was I…"

"A few hours," Shiro replied softly, his voice laced with pain and disappointment, "I was worried about you. Why..."

"I had to. I had to try…"

"You could have died. You nearly did. If I hadn't gotten there when I did…"

"I had to try."

"If the Galra had come…"

"I don't care."

At that, Shiro's fingers tugged sharply on his hair, and Keith lifted his head to look the other man in the eye. He was almost afraid to, but at this point, he could deny Shiro nothing. There was anger there, but also something else even more intense. Fear.

" _I_ care. I would go through everything… the coliseum… the torture… the experiments… _everything_ ten times over again, if it meant keeping you out of their hands," Shiro said fiercely.

Keith sobbed again and pressed his forehead against Shiro's chest. Keith wanted to argue, to tell Shiro that he didn't need him to protect him. But he couldn't force out the words. Shiro's fingers started to pet him again.

"Keith… I need you to promise me something," Shiro whispered, and Keith wanted to scream. He didn't want to hear what Shiro was going to say, because he was afraid Shiro was going to ask him for the impossible.

Instead Keith swallowed and nodded, because he could deny Shiro nothing right now.

"I need you to survive this. I know you can. You're strong. You always have been. When you get back to the others... I need you to keep fighting. Defeat Zarkon."

Keith lifted his head again to stare down at Shiro in disbelief.

"What are you talking about?"

"If I don't make it..."

"Stop. Stop talking like this," Keith pleaded. It sounded like Shiro was... giving up. No, he wasn't going to let that happen. He'd thought he lost Shiro once already, and it had nearly killed him. He refused to lose Shiro again. Not like this, "You're going to be all right. You just... can't give up, Shiro. We need you."

_I need you._

Shiro smiled faintly.

"You'll find someone, the lions choose their Paladins, remember… and the Black Lion has already chosen its new Paladin."

Keith blinked. Then he shook his head. No. No, it wasn't true. It couldn't be. But deep down he knew Shiro was right. The mournful rumbling growl in his mind confirmed it.

"No…"

"Keith, please…"

"No, I can't. Please… don't ask me for this… I can't…"

"Yes, you can. Please, Keith. Please…"

Keith closed his eyes, fighting against agony that tried to rip him apart.

"Keith…"

He nodded.

He felt a light touch to his cheek, Shiro once more wiping away his tears.

"Thank you."

Keith opened his eyes to look down at the older man. He might never have another chance...

He leaned in to press his lips to Shiro's. For a moment it felt just like that disastrous moment, so long ago, in the simulation room with Shiro tense and unmoving under him. Keith was just about to pull away when the older Paladin's lips parted and then Shiro was kissing him back.


	10. Chapter 10

It was days before he saw Shiro again and for once it had been intentional. Keith had been avoiding the older man like the plague, even going so far as to skip some of his classes, to avoid potentially running into the other man ever since that disastrous night in the simulator.

A small part of him naively hoped that if he avoided Shiro long enough, maybe things could just go back to the way they were before. That maybe Shiro would forget it like Keith had asked. He should have known that was just wishful thinking.

"Keith, we need to talk."

He'd been sitting in his usual spot up on the roof, watching while the sun set slowly into the horizon, when Shiro's firm voice startled him out of his thoughts. The burning sky cast everything in a warm orange glow and for a moment Keith couldn't help thinking, not for the first time, how handsome Shiro looked in this light. It was so familiar of much happier times that it almost physically hurt. A reminder of everything he could lose because he just couldn't be happy with what he had.

Keith scrambled to his feet and backed away from Shiro, his eyes darting around as though he were looking for an escape route. This seemed to give Shiro pause and the older man's expression shifted from determined to wary and finally settled on sadness.

"Keith, I'm not going to hurt you…"

For the first time, Keith wasn't sure he believed him.

"I told you, we don't have to talk about it," Keith replied quickly, staring at his feet to avoid looking into Shiro's eyes.

"I think we do."

"Please. Just forget it happened. It didn't mean anything…"

"Didn't it?"

Keith finally glanced up at Shiro's soft question and the way Shiro was looking at him told him that if Keith once more denied the kiss meant anything, Shiro would drop it. They would never speak of it again. Things would be awkward between them for a while. Maybe a long while. But eventually they might get back to where they'd once been.

For a moment, Keith wanted that desperately.

But it would be a lie.

"I meant it…" Keith finally whispered, dropping his head and wrapping his arms around himself protectively, as though he were bracing for a physical blow. He wasn't really prepared when instead Shiro's arms wrapped around him and hugged him tightly. Keith froze for several heartbeats and then he was hugging Shiro back almost desperately.

"I love you," he admitted, his face buried underneath the other man's chin. He heard Shiro sigh heavily.

"Damn it… I thought I knew what I was going to say when I came up here," Shiro drew away enough to look down at Keith in his arms, "Keith. I love you too. You're the closest thing I have to family…"

"But you don't love me like that. I get it. We don't have to talk about it. We can forget it…" Keith babbled quickly, trying to pull out of Shiro's embrace, but the older man refused to release him.

"I've never _thought_ about you like that. You're only sixteen-"

"Almost seventeen, and what does that have to do with anything!"

"A _lot_."

"I'm not a child!" Keith snapped stubbornly, and Shiro smiled faintly.

"No. No you're not. But you can't blame me if sometimes I still see the kid I caught trying to run away across the desert with a bag full of canned tuna." Shiro chuckled softly and Keith found himself blushing with embarrassment. Well, when Shiro put it like that, he supposed he could understand.

He hadn't exactly been acting all that mature these last few days either.

"I'm sorry for being an idiot," Keith mumbled, looking down and away, and Shiro laughed again. His fingers caught under Keith's chin and Keith's breath caught in his chest when their eyes met. Shiro had never looked at him like that before.

Then Shiro was leaning in, pressing his mouth to his, and it felt like a small super nova was going off inside of him. All Keith could do was hold on and allow Shiro to lead the kiss that was _so_ much better than Keith's first pathetic attempt.

Keith felt a little like he was melting into a happy puddle of goo by the time Shiro pulled away with a warm smile and hugged him again.

"Just… give me some time. Okay?"

Keith nodded vigorously. For this, at least, he could be patient. Shiro was worth waiting for.

* * *

 

Shiro was kissing him. Shiro was _kissing_ him.

Like a drowning man fighting for air, Shiro clung to him. His fingers almost bruising on Keith's arm and the back of his neck, holding him in place. Like a starving man finally offered a meal, Shiro's mouth devoured his own. His tongue pushing its way past Keith's pliant lips and tasting every inch of his mouth.

The intensity of it was completely overwhelming and Keith was completely swept away by the flood of feelings rushing through him. Desire. Longing. Relief. Joy. Passion. Love. So many things he never thought he'd feel again. It all came rushing back now.

He hadn't been sure if Shiro had forgotten... or he simply didn't want Keith anymore. Shiro had been through so much. The Galra, they'd taken so much away from the other man. His freedom. His arm. His memories. Now Shiro was the leader of Voltron and had so much to worry about, the weight of the universe almost literally on his shoulders. The last thing Keith had wanted to be was yet another burden to the older man.

Now with Shiro holding him, kissing him like a man possessed, Keith's heart finally felt like it was beginning to unthaw after being frozen for nearly two long agonizing years. Just as he was beginning to accept that he and Shiro would never be together... Now he felt like he was finally home...

But then suddenly Shiro was shoving him away and Keith was left reeling. All he could do was pant, breathless, as he stared down at the older man with wide eyes. Shiro, who appeared even more out of breath than he, his lips swollen and his eyes dilated wide, but it wasn't desire that Keith saw there. It was pain, and Keith felt like the ground had suddenly opened up into a black hole beneath them both.

"Did I hurt you?" Keith whispered, almost panicked, afraid he had unintentionally hurt Shiro with his desperate fumbling.

Shiro blinked, appearing confused for a moment, before he shook his head. Yet he still held Keith at arms length.

"No... I... I can't. I'm sorry..."

"I don't understand..." Keith had never felt more confused, all he knew was his heart felt like it was slowly shattering in his chest.

"We... we can't... its not right," Shiro said softly, now sounding more sad than anything.

"You don't want me?" The words were out of Keith's mouth before he even registered saying them, even though he knew they weren't true. Nobody kissed somebody like that if they didn't want to, but in his confusion and heartbreak it was all he could think of. That he was right in the beginning. Shiro didn't want him anymore...

"No! I mean... that's not it..."

"What is it then!" Keith yelled, anger beginning to win out over his confusion, if only to protect himself from the pain he was feeling. He had waited so long for Shiro. So long... he was beginning to think they would never be together again. Then he had kissed Shiro, and Shiro had kissed him back, and now...

If possible Shiro's expression looked more pained than ever.

"Keith... I'm dying," Shiro's words were like a punch to the stomach, leaving Keith stunned and breathless.

"Don't say that..." Keith whispered.

"Keith..."

"You're not dying! You just need to hang on! The other's will find us, we'll get you to a healing pod, and you'll be fine! You can't just give up!"

"There's no antidote, Keith!" Shiro's shout made Keith feel numb down to his core.

"What?"

"Haggar's poison... I've seen it before... there's no antidote. Even if the others get here in time... I'm going to die, Keith."


	11. Chapter 11

Keith wanted to be patient. He really did. But it was very, very difficult.

Hormones. Who could blame him? Plus Shiro was just so… Shiro.

Funny. Kind. Loving. Not to mention gorgeous. And above all patient.

Shiro's patience was really starting to get to him.

It had been a little awkward between them at first, especially when it came to Shiro touching him. The affectionate touches to his shoulder, or hair, didn't disappear entirely but they had lessened in frequency and seemed more hesitant than before. Then again, Keith had kind of been expecting that so he tried not to feel hurt by it.

Shiro needed time. Keith could give him time. That was the least he could do.

He and Shiro still spent time together whenever they could. Whether it was Shiro helping him study for a test, sparring in the gym together, or watching a movie in Shiro's dorm during some rare free time, Keith treasured those moments and wouldn't dream of doing something that might make Shiro uncomfortable again. He just… wished Shiro would give him some kind of sign. Whether he wanted to move forward or just forget about it like Keith had suggested.

Well, Shiro wasn't seeing Karen anymore. That had to count for something, right?

When it finally happened, it took Keith almost completely by surprise.

There wasn't anything special about the day, as far as Keith was aware. It was the weekend. Keith didn't have any studying to do or any papers to write, for a change, and Shiro had just gotten back from flying another successful space expedition, this time to one of Jupiter's moons. They had been relaxing in Shiro's room, sitting side by side on the couch watching television. Keith had been leaning against the older man, tucked under one of Shiro's arms that had been thrown over the back of the couch.

He had been happily content and when Shiro's fingers lightly brushed his shoulder, Keith hadn't thought too much of it. He'd simply relaxed against Shiro a little more and allowed his head to rest comfortably on the other man's shoulder. He was almost dozing when he felt the fingers on his shoulder move to card lightly through his hair and it felt so nice Keith made a sound that was practically a purr.

Shiro chuckled.

"Like that?" Shiro's voice was warm and very close. Keith nodded and hummed softly. Still he hadn't thought Shiro had any ulterior motives until those warm fingers drifted slowly down the column of his neck, making goosebumps rise up on Keith's skin. Keith shivered when that touch unexpectedly dipped below the neckline of the shirt he was wearing, and he cautiously turned his head to look at Shiro.

"Is this all right?" Shiro asked softly, rubbing small circles gently where his neck met his shoulder. Keith nodded and wondered if Shiro felt the way that his pulse suddenly sped up in anticipation. The knowing smile Shiro gave him told him he probably did.

Keith's jaw was traced carefully from his chin to his ear, something he never would have thought could be so sensitive until a single finger ran over the shell and Keith's eyes fluttered closed. Then Shiro's fingers were moving back down the length of his throat slowly and Keith swallowed hard when Shiro's fingers once more slipped beneath the loose collar of his T-shirt. His breath hitched in his throat when those warm fingers spread over one of his collarbones, such a simple touch, yet it felt like electricity crackling over his skin.

Keith's fingers of one hand tightened where they had been resting on Shiro's knee while his other hand floundered a bit before Shiro caught it and brought it to rest over his chest. The light button down shirt Shiro wore was hardly a barrier between his hand and the warmth of Shiro's skin. That and the steady beat of Shiro's heart beneath Keith's palm made his entire body feel flushed, and his skin extra sensitive as Shiro's thumb brushed over his cheek while his other fingers curved underneath his jaw, tilting Keith's head up a little more.

"Shiro…"

The first kiss was so soft Keith thought he might have imagined it. The next one was firmer. Longer, and Keith couldn't stop the soft pleased sound that escaped him if he tried. He felt Shiro smile into the next kiss.

It continued on like that for some time and Keith quickly concluded that Shiro was an amazing kisser.

No two kisses were ever exactly the same. Sometimes their lips barely brushed together feather light, and other times Keith's lips felt almost sore from the constant pressure where their mouths met and moved together. Keith did his best to reciprocate, even though it was all so new it was a little overwhelming. At least Shiro didn't seem to mind. He kept kissing him after all.

When Shiro's tongue flicked out to taste between his lips Keith gasped and pressed himself closer to the other man, practically clinging to the older pilot's shirt. One of Shiro's hands cupped the back of his neck, holding him steady and guiding the kiss while the other roamed along the length of Keith's back. He wasn't all that prepared for when Shiro's hand slipped underneath his shirt, his fingers splayed along the small of his back, and the sudden touch of skin on skin was like a jolt of lightning.

Keith gasped sharply and before he really knew what he was doing, he had moved to straddle Shiro's thighs and press his half-hard cock into the firm muscle there. He started unbuttoning Shiro's shirt with shaking fingers, but before he could do much more than brush that smooth muscled chest with his fingertips, Shiro's hand covered both of his own to still them.

Keith pulled away from Shiro's mouth and opened his eyes; a little worried he had done something wrong. Shiro was panting a little heavily, his cheeks flushed, and his lips were an attractive shade of dark pink from their kisses. It was all Keith could do not to swoon at the sight. Especially when Shiro smiled at him.

"It's ok," Shiro reassured, rubbing Keith's knuckles lightly, "Just… slow down a bit, all right? We don't have to do everything tonight."

Keith felt himself blushing hard. Of course. Right. Shiro had probably only intended to make out a little bit and of course Keith had thrown himself into it full throttle. Shiro chuckled softly and pecked a quick kiss to the end of his nose, making Keith scrunch it up.

"You're cute when you blush," Shiro said, and of course that only made Keith blush more. He huffed and started to climb off of Shiro's lap, but the older pilot surprised him by grasping him by the hips, keeping him in place.

"Did you want to stop?" The older man asked, and Keith shook his head, "Okay."

And then Shiro was kissing him again. Back to the slow steady kisses that made Keith want to melt, and that was just fine with him. Keith looped his arms around Shiro's neck, to avoid the far too tempting feel of the older pilot's half-exposed chest.

A few hours later when Keith was walking back to his dorm room he knew he was wearing the stupidest pleased grin ever but he didn't give a damn. He's sure he's never been so happy.

A few weeks later Galaxy Garrison announced the Kerberos mission.

* * *

 

Keith shook his head numbly, trying to deny the words even as they echoed in his head over and over like a death knell.

_I'm going to die._

"No..."

"Keith..."

Keith wrenched himself out of Shrio's hold and stood on shaking legs. The pain in his thigh was incredible but he ignored it as he ran out of the Black Lion's cockpit. He heard Shiro shouting after him but he couldn't... he couldn't...

No... no no no... Shiro...

He reached the lion's mouth before he realized it, but it remained closed. With a cry of anger and pain he hit the wall of metal with all his strength. Pain shot through his hands and blood dotted through the bandages wrapped around them, but he didn't care. He kept hitting the closed door that refused to open for him no matter how he shouted at it.

He couldn't outrun this pain this time no matter how much he wanted to.

He was well aware of how stupid he must look right now. He was dressed only in his underwear, his clothes, armor, and even helmet left behind in the cockpit. If he left the Lion in such a state he'd probably suffocate in minutes, or be torn to shreds by the storm. He knew this, but unfortunately he wasn't thinking all that clearly right now.

The Black Lion knew this as well.

Keith might not care what happened to him right now, but she cared. Her mournful but caring purr in his mind eventually wrenched a sob from him and he slowly slid down to the floor as his legs gave out beneath him. He curled up on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face against them.

_I'm going to die._

Why hadn't Shiro told him sooner? Probably for this very reason. Because Shiro knew him too well. Knew that Keith wouldn't take it well... understatement. He should have known. Should have realized. Shiro had been trying to tell him, trying to prepare him... but Keith had just refused to hear him. Refused to believe. Not until Shiro had dropped it on him with all the bluntness of a ton of bricks.

Most people thought Keith was a loner because he was incapable of being close to anyone. That was far from the truth. The truth wasn't that he didn't care about other people, the truth was that he cared too _much_. It hurt too much when those he loved inevitably left him, one way or another.

"I can't... I can't lose him again... I can't..."

He heard the rumbling purr in his mind. It felt like being surrounded by something warm and soft. Comforting in the way he'd only ever really felt with Shiro's arms around him. But this time the warmth came from the Black Lion. Another presence joined the first, more familiar, but it had been so long since he'd felt it, it was almost a surprise. Red. She was still very weak from the fight with Zarkon, but she reached out to him now, offering what comfort she could.

"I don't know what to do..." Keith whispered brokenly, not really expecting an answer from the lions. So he was a bit surprised when he felt a very distinct _push_ in his mind.

"What?"

_Go to him._

It wasn't spoken in actual words, but the feeling was so strong it might as well have been. It was time to stop running. Shiro wasn't dead yet, and he was wasting precious time.


	12. Chapter 12

Keith sat cross-legged on Shiro's bed in his dorm while he watched the older man pack.

Shiro wasn't taking much with him. He didn't need to. The Galaxy Garrison would be providing most of what Shiro would need for the long two-year trip to Kerberos and back. But the crew was allowed to take a few personal items if they wished.

Keith remained silent as he watched Shiro move around his room. The older pilot was taking his time. Choosing his items carefully. Sometimes the older man would stop in the middle of what he was doing to stare at one item or another with a faraway look in his eyes. Whenever that happened, Keith felt like he was seeing something no one else was ever allowed to see. It almost seemed _too_ intimate, watching Shiro quietly reminisce like this.

Keith had asked Shiro once already if he should leave. It wasn't like Shiro was paying much attention to him right now anyway. Maybe it would have been better if Shiro was alone for this without him to witness.

Shiro had actually seemed surprised by his offer and immediately shook his head, telling Keith that he wanted him there. So Keith had stayed, and waited as patiently as possible for Shiro to finish. He was glad that Shiro didn't want him to leave. Keith wanted to spend as much time with Shiro as he could, even if it was just sitting quietly like this. He wasn't going to see Shiro for two years. Two years! It was the longest they'd ever been apart since the first time they'd met.

Keith sighed quietly.

He was going to miss Shiro terribly. Hell, he was already missing him. In the six months since the Kerberos mission was announced he and Shiro hadn't been able to see very much of each other. Shiro had been very busy preparing for the mission, and Keith had his classes to deal with. The moments they'd managed to steal with all that going on were few and far between. It had been very difficult. Keith wasn't sure what he was going to do once Shiro finally left.

If Keith was being truthful with himself, he wished Shiro didn't have to go. While technically Shiro _could_ have refused the mission if he wanted too, such long space expeditions were completely on a voluntary basis, he knew Shiro would never refuse a mission like this. It was a chance of a lifetime. It was the furthest any human had ever traveled within their solar system. As much as he wanted to he wouldn't dream of asking Shiro to stay. As hard as it would be, he would never ask Shiro to choose between him and his dreams.

The only thing Keith could really do was perform well in his classes and graduate, so that maybe next time he wouldn't have to be left be left behind.

"Keith?"

He looked up at Shiro's soft voice and offered the other man a small smile that he hoped didn't appear too forced. The way Shiro's lips pulled down at the corners told him he wasn't fooling anyone.

"I'm fine," Keith insisted anyway. Shiro sighed and put down his bag to approach the bed. He took Keith's face in his hands and leaned down to kiss him softly. When he pulled back, there was understanding in Shiro's eyes.

"You know, its okay if you're not fine," He said, caressing Keith's jaw. Keith reached up to cover the warm hand with his own and turned his face to kiss Shiro's palm.

"I'm going to miss you," Keith admitted softly. Shiro turned his face back towards him and kissed Keith again, the touch lingering longer than the last time.

"I'm going to miss you too. Terribly," Shiro told him when they finally parted. Then Shiro's lips were brushing over his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose… at that Keith couldn't help but laugh softly, tilting his head back to he could catch those wandering lips with his own. His hands locked behind Shiro's neck, holding him in place.

Then with a slightly wicked grin, Keith leaned back, overbalancing them both and sending them tumbling down onto the bed. Shiro caught himself on his hands before he could completely squash him and Keith allowed his legs to wrap around the older man's hips to keep him there.

"Keith," Shiro was giving him a mildly chiding look, though the way his lips kept quirking up ruined the effect.

"Come on, you can at least make out with me one last time before you go, since you won't fuck me," Keith said, smiling up at Shiro sweetly when the older man frowned at him for his vulgarity. He knew he shouldn't tease Shiro like this. Especially since he knew Shiro _wanted_ to. He also understood why Shiro wanted to wait before going all the way. Already they were breaking the rules. He was a cadet. Shiro was an officer, and he could get into a lot of trouble if their relationship was discovered. At seventeen Keith _was_ technically still underage too.

Instead of apologizing with words he pulled Shiro down for another kiss. Keith liked to think he'd gotten pretty good at the whole kissing thing, if the way Shiro practically melted against him was any indication.

"You're incorrigible," Shiro muttered when Keith finally allowed them both a chance to breathe, yet despite his 'complaints' he didn't stop. In fact, Shiro shifted his weight so he could hold himself up on one hand while the other roamed down the length of Keith's body, around his side, and finally came to rest high on the back of Keith's thigh, just beneath his ass.

"You like it," Keith's cheeky words were rewarded with a smart slap to his buttocks making him squawk.

Shiro laughed and kissed him again. Keith whimpered when those strong fingers began to knead his ass. Keith tried hard not to arch beneath the older man and rub himself off against the thigh between his legs, but it was very difficult. Especially when Shiro abandoned his lips to kiss his way down Keith's jaw to his neck where the other man licked and sucked and would probably leave a bruise he hoped would take weeks to fade. Keith's fingers tightened in Shiro's hair and he whimpered.

"Shiro…"

Shiro finally drew back and looked down at him as though admiring his handiwork.

"Like what you see?" Keith asked, wiggling in a way he hoped was enticing but Shiro merely laughed instead.

"Very much. Even though you're being ridiculous," Shiro said and Keith pouted. This only made Shiro chuckle again and Keith reached for him to kiss that damned smile off his face. But Shiro caught his hand, kissed it, and then pressed it back to the bed. Keith looked up at the older man in confusion and Shiro gave him a reassuring smile.

"Just let me look at you for a bit," Shiro requested and Keith nodded. It should have been a bit uncomfortable to be under such intense scrutiny. If it were anyone but Shiro, it would have been. Instead, Keith only felt cherished, as Shiro's eyes seemed to drink in every feature of his face. Memorizing him. Keith almost joked that maybe Shiro should just take a picture, but this seemed far more intimate, and he liked it.

"I want to say something, and I don't want you to get mad," Shiro finally broke the silence between them and Keith groaned.

"Oh no."

The older man chuckled.

"Just listen. You've been very patient, and I appreciate it. But I want you to know that… if you don't want to wait anymore…"

Keith frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Two years is a long time. If you meet someone else…"

"Shut up."

"Keith-"

"Shut up! I don't want anyone else. I'll never want anyone else. I only want you, stupid," Keith interrupted almost viciously. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did Shiro really think he was that shallow? Didn't Shiro have any idea what he meant to him?

"I'm only saying-"

"Shut up before I hit you."

Shiro chuckled, "All right."

"Idiot," Keith muttered, and then Shiro was kissing him again. For a few moments Keith tried to hold onto his scowl, because he wasn't ready to let Shiro off the hook quite yet for being such a moron. But then Shiro's fingers were skimming along his bare side where his shirt had rucked up exposing his midriff, and Keith couldn't help but whimper softly into the older man's mouth.

Keith took it as permission to let his own hands wander up underneath Shiro shirt to explore the length of the older pilot's strong back.

"You know, I'll be nineteen by the time you come back," Keith pointed out, scratching his nails lightly down Shiro's back, loving the almost purring sound the older man made in response.

"I guess we'll have to celebrate," Shiro whispered, nibbling lightly on his earlobe. God, Keith wished they could 'celebrate' now but he could wait. He _would_ wait. He didn't care if Shiro had given him permission or not.

Shiro was worth waiting for.

* * *

 

Keith returned to the cockpit slowly, embarrassment over his outburst and grief making his steps feel heavy, but he was also determined. He wiped at his eyes but he knew his puffy red eyes would betray his tears even if all the other signs were gone.

The moment the cockpit door opened, Shiro's head snapped around to look at him.

"Keith," the relief in Shiro's eyes and the worry in his voice made Keith feel even worse, if that was even possible. Especially when the older man attempted to sit up but only managed a few inches before he grunted in pain and clutched at his side. Keith wondered if Shiro had tried to come after him after he'd run away and been unable to. Just imagining the pain the other man might have caused himself in the attempt had another involuntary sob wrenching its way from Keith's throat before he could stop it.

Keith rushed over to Shiro's side and dropped to his knees, his hands pressing against the older man's shoulders to keep him from attempting to rise again.

"Don't try to move, you'll only make it worse," Keith ordered, grief making his voice thick and harsher than he meant to, but Shiro didn't seem to mind. Too weak to argue, Shiro covered Keith's hands with his own and twined their fingers together.

"I'm sorry..." Shiro started, but Keith shook his head quickly to cut off the apology before it began.

"None of this is your fault," Keith said. Which was true, and also because he didn't want to waste anymore time with apologies. Instead he laid down next to Shiro and wrapped his arms around the older man, holding onto him as tightly as he dared. He pressed his face into the curve of Shiro's neck and bit his lip when the other man's arms wrapped around him to cradle him close.

After a long moment of silence, Keith started to speak.

"Do you remember the simulator back at the Garrison?" Keith asked softly, tracing his fingers over one of Shiro's collarbones.

"Yeah..." Shiro answered just as softly, and for a moment Keith wondered what the older man was thinking about. If he was remembering the first, rather disastrous, kiss that they had shared.

"Do you remember your unbeatable score?" Keith went on, and that seemed to surprise Shiro somewhat because the fingers playing through Keith's hair suddenly stilled.

"Did you beat it?" Shiro asked, sounding surprised and even a little hopeful. Keith closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"I snuck out of my dorm nearly every night after you left for Kerberos to use the simulator. Even got caught a few times. Part of my 'discipline issues'. But I didn't care. I wanted to surprise you when you got back..." Keith's voice broke a little and Shiro's arms tightened around him.

"Then... they said the Kerberos mission had failed. Pilot Error... and I... I didn't care about much of anything after that."

"Keith..."

"But I still went back to the simulator. Every night," Keith pushed on before Shiro could stop him or he lost his nerve. He had to say this, "It was the only way I could still feel close to you. One night, I was getting close to beating your score... once I realized I was going to, I crashed the simulation on purpose."

Shiro was silent for several heartbeats before he asked, "Why?"

"They... the officers, the instructors, everyone... they were trying so hard to forget you. They blamed you for Kerberos and... I wasn't going to help them. I wasn't going to help them forget who you were... are..."

Shiro was utterly silent after that and when Keith realized that the other man wasn't going to speak, he lifted his head to look down at Shiro.

"I know you're trying to make this... easier for me. But it's never going to be easy. I'm never going to forget you. There's never going to be anyone else. I love you, and I'll always wait for you, even if I have to wait forever."

"Keith..."

"Do you love me, Takashi?"

"Yes," Shiro answered without hesitation.

"Then stop trying to protect me, and love me," Keith whispered, his eyes begging.

Shiro responded by kissing him as through he was trying to meld their two souls into one. Keith moaned helplessly and pressed his body as close to Shiro as he dared. Shiro's hands slid through his hair, over his shoulders, and down his back. The touch slow and almost reverent. As through Shiro were relearning his body by touch. Keith couldn't stop kissing Shiro over and over. His lips. His cheeks. His eyelids. All were explored tenderly and thoroughly. Shiro twined their fingers together and brought them to his lips.

"I should have made love to you before I left for Kerberos..." Shiro admitted softly. Keith's breath hitched and he pressed his forehead against the other man's. How often had he wished that very same thing? Instead they had decided to wait. Shiro trying to protect him again... but now wasn't the time for regrets. There would be plenty of time for those later... after...

"I should have tied you to the bed and had my way with you," Keith said, attempting to lighten the mood. It seemed to work as his words shocked a laugh out of Shiro and Keith smiled slightly in spite of everything.

"I kinda wish you had," Shiro said with a smile, and kissed Keith again softly, "I love you."

"Say it again," Keith whispered, his lips moving against the other man's.

"I love you," Shiro repeated without hesitation, his tongue teasing into Keith's mouth, making a warm shiver roll down the younger man's spine. Keith shifted to straddle Shiro's thighs. Keith could feel that Shiro wasn't aroused, not much of a surprise given his injury. Yet the older man didn't seem to care as he moaned in Keith's mouth and let his hands caress down the length of the younger man's back to cup his ass.

"Shiro..." Keith moaned the other man's name as Shiro's hands caressed his buttocks firmly.

Keith couldn't help but rock against him. His trapped erection rubbing into the seam where Shiro's thigh met his body. His breath hitched when Shiro's fingers slid underneath his briefs, the touch of skin on skin so much more intimate despite the thinness of the cloth. Keith kissed the side of Shiro's face. Rubbed his cheek against the other man just to feel the faint rasp of stubble, wanting to memorize every little feeling he could. His teeth scraped lightly over Shiro's throat and then Keith fastened his lips where he could feel the older man's blood pumping just underneath the fragile skin.

"I love you," Shiro whispered again directly into his ear and Keith moaned as the other man squeezed his ass, encouraging the younger man to move against him. Keith's arms began to shake where he held himself over the other man as one of Shiro's hands cupped his balls and the other wrapped around his already leaking cock. Shiro's fingers teased around the head, pulling back the foreskin, and rubbed across the sensitive slit.

Keith's breath caught in his throat.

"Shiro... I'm going to..." Keith whimpered. He didn't want to. Didn't want it to end so soon. After waiting so long...

"It's okay. I've got you, baby," Shiro whispered, his fingers teasing lightly around his hole, barely pressing inside. It was too much. Keith's whole body shuddered and he cried out loudly as he came across Shiro's stomach and fingers. Shiro continued to caress him through it, milking every last drop of come from his cock and whispering soothing words as he kissed every inch of Keith's face.

Keith was still trembling when he dropped down beside Shiro. The older man wrapped his arms around him and Keith rested his head against Shiro's shoulder.

"I love you," Keith told him, his eyes already beginning to fill with tears. He felt Shiro's lips press against his forehead.

"I love you too, Keith. Always."


	13. Chapter 13

Keith found out the same way most people do.

From the news.

It had been a day like any other when he had wandered into the mess hall for lunch. Keith had been distracted thinking about the report he had to write for his advanced astrophysics class, and didn't notice the strange undercurrent among the other cadets at first. He had heard the hushed murmuring. The strange looks cast in his direction as he passed. It wasn't really anything new. In fact, it was rather common whenever he had been reprimanded for something. So he was used to ignoring those kinds of looks and paid them no mind.

It wasn't until Keith realized it wasn't just the students that were behaving strangely, but the staff as well, that he paid more attention. Some of the other cadets were definitely casting glances in his direction, something almost like… sympathy… in their expressions. But most people had their attention focused on the televisions scattered throughout the mess hall.

Keith followed their gazes and froze.

A feeling washed over Keith that he was all too familiar, even though he'd hoped to never feel it again. It was the same numbness that he had felt the day the police officer had knelt down in front of him, sympathy in his eyes, as he told him that his father wasn't coming home. In that moment it was as if his emotions simply… shut off, unable to process it the magnitude of what he was feeling.

It was difficult to believe anything was real because it felt too much like a dream. A nightmare. As he stared at the television screen with the picture of Takashi's smiling face. As the words 'pilot error' scrolled across the bottom of the special newscast announcing the failure of the Kerberos mission... all Keith felt was cold.

Unfortunately the numbness doesn't last. He almost wished it would. It would be easier. Easier than the pain. Crushing. Suffocating. Easier than the anger. White hot. Vicious. Destructive. At first turned inward. Guilt. Unimaginable guilt. This never would have happened if he'd just asked Shiro to stay when he had the chance. Then it turned outward at everyone and everything.

The worst part was, no one would tell him what had really happened. Pilot error. That's all they would say. All anyone talked about if they talked about the Kerberos mission at all. Instructors and cadets alike all speculated what Shiro had done wrong. They asked themselves how could someone like Shiro, the best pilot Galaxy Garrison had seen in years, make such a mistake? A mistake that had cost the lives of him and his entire crew...

Keith couldn't believe it. Wouldn't believe it. It didn't make any sense. No one knew how or why the crash had happened. No further information was ever released. It was deemed classified. Why? The whole god damned thing stank of a cover up. If the mission truly went wrong due to 'pilot error' then why hide the details? Wouldn't they want to tell everyone what had actually happened, so no one would make the same mistake again?

Eventually life moved on at Galaxy Garrison. All too soon people seemed to forget about Kerberos entirely and that was almost worse. Everything Shiro had done, all his accomplishments, everything the man had ever been, was reduced to two words.

Pilot error.

It ate away at Keith like a festering wound.

Where Keith had been quiet before, now he was practically a mute. Where he had been withdrawn, and avoided all contact with others. He was practically a wraith haunting the Garrison halls. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything. He continued going to his classes, needing the routine, but he put no effort into his work any longer. His grades quickly began to drop. His instructors were sympathetic at first. But then the lectures started to come.

_You have too much potential. Don't waste it._

_What's the matter with you? Pull yourself together cadet._

It was like falling into a deep dark void. It was only a matter of time before he hit the bottom. The only question was when. Not if.

The only reason why he remained at Galaxy Garrison at all was because he knew Shiro would have wanted him to stay. Shiro had put his reputation on the line to help get Keith enlisted and Keith wouldn't dishonor that by quitting. Also, because remaining in Galaxy Garrison was the best chance he had at finding out the truth about what happened on Kerberos. So he stayed. Even though each day it got harder and harder to convince himself to remain when all he wanted to do was run. When the walls seemed to close in around him like a cage. Where every corner he turned he only saw ghosts.

It all came to a head one day in the simulator. Commander Iverson was going off on one of his usual tirades about what screw-ups they all were. Keith was only listening with half an ear when the instructor made the mistake of comparing their incompetence to what led to the failure of the Kerberos mission.

All of a sudden it was as though a red haze of rage had fallen over him so powerful he was blind and deaf to everything going on around him. He didn't even realize what he'd done until Iverson was already on the ground and Keith was standing over him with bleeding knuckles. The Garrison security had to hold him back while Keith shouted profanity at the downed man that would make a sailor blush.

Within an hour, Keith was packing his few belongings in his dorm and was being escorted out by Garrison security. He was probably lucky he was only expelled and not carted off to jail for assault or something. Not that he would have really cared if they did.

He was driven to the small town near the Garrison and told to go home.

But he didn't go home. He didn't have a home left. His home had died with Shiro.

Keith stayed in the cheap rat infested motel for a few days until what little money he had ran out. Then he left the town. He had no direction in mind. No idea where he was going.

He really wasn't expecting for his surroundings to suddenly seem familiar.  But the longer he walked, the stronger the strange deja vu like feeling grew inside him. It was two days before he came across the small run down shack in the middle of nowhere. At first he didn't recognize it. It had been so long... but then he realized it was the small house that he had once shared with his father. He could barely believe it. It almost seemed more than coincidence that he would find his way back here after all this time. Full circle. He had come home after all...

He stayed. He had nowhere else to go anyway. It didn't look like anyone had lived there for years. Maybe not even since his father died. He started to fix the place up. Enough to make it habitable. It was hard work and kept him from thinking too much, which was exactly what he needed.

He traveled back and forth to the small town on foot every few days. He did odd jobs for money, food, or both. One day he found the old half-rotted hover bike in the junkyard while he was working and he didn't hesitate spending every last cent he owned to have the wreck towed back to his place. He'd helped Shiro work on his own bike enough times in the past to make it run. He even managed to make some improvements.

Keith took the bike out into the desert as soon as it was able to fly. He pushed it harder and faster than the newly repaired engine could safely endure just to get a little bit more speed. It was the only time he allowed himself to cry.

He didn't know why he stayed. A part of him felt drawn to the place. Felt like he was searching for something.  Answers.  Even though he didn't know what the questions were. Maybe he had lost his mind.

One day Keith found himself standing on the edge of a cliff, the same one he'd come to when his father had died, and watched the sun sink into the horizon. A part of him contemplated what it would be like to step off the steep edge. Wondered what it would feel like to really fly, for a few blissful seconds, before everything came to and end.

It was very appealing.

That was when he saw something in the distance in the dying light. Curious, he got out his binoculars but in the end couldn't tell what it was at that distance. All he could make out was a flash of blue.

Keith stepped away from the cliff, got on his bike, and decided to investigate. What did he have left to lose? That's when he found the first carving of the blue lion.

* * *

 

There was an insistent growling in his head that eventually drew Keith out of the deep slumber he had slipped into. At first he didn't realize what it was. The constant howling of the storm outside had become almost a white noise by that point.

But it wasn't the storm. It was the Lions. Black and Red, both prodding him awake. That was when he realized he could no longer hear the howling wind outside.

Keith scrambled up from where he still laid in Shiro's arms and stumbled over to the pilot's chair. He brought the view screen up to visually prove what his ears were telling him. That he wasn't just imagining it. The sky beyond was a beautiful swirl of orange and red, making it appear as through the sky was on fire. But the sky was clear. The storm was over.

"Shiro! The storm is over. I'm going to try to raise the Castle," Keith said as he brought up the communications, "Black Lion to the Castle of Lions, this is Keith. Do you read me, over?"

Nothing but static. Keith growled in frustration.

"Come on. Damn it. Castle of Lions, this is an emergency. Please respond, over."

Again, only static met his desperate pleas. Keith hit the control console in frustration.

"Come on, Girl. I know you can do it. We have to get Shiro help. Please..."

"Castle… Paladins… Allura… come in…"

Keith lifted his head, almost not daring to believe he'd actually heard the faint transmission.

"Castle of Lions to Black and Red Paladins. This is Princess Allura. Please come in." When the transmission repeated, stronger, Keith almost sobbed in relief.

"Princess! This is Keith. We need help. Shiro is hurt. Please, we need help now…"

"Understood. We've locked onto your position. We'll be there in a few ticks. Hold on, Keith."

The response was almost immediate, and Keith did sob this time. He jumped up from the pilot's chair, beaming, as he turned to Shiro.

"Shiro, did you hear that? They're coming. It's going to be..." Keith's voice trailed off as he looked at the other man lying still on the floor. Too still. Shiro didn't react when the younger man dropped to his knees beside him and Keith shook him gently, then with more force when he didn't respond. Shiro's eyes remained closed. Keith's heart stuttered. Nearly stopped.

"Shiro..."

He wasn't breathing. No. Oh god, no.

"Shiro! Shiro, no, don't do this to me. Please," But only silence met his desperate pleas and it was deafening. Even the lions were silent. Keith was utterly alone in his grief.

"No! No, Shiro! I'm not letting you go! Not again!" Keith yelled, and didn't stop to think about what he was doing when he pinched Shiro's nose closed, tilted his head back, and forced air into the other man's lungs via mouth to mouth.

Two breaths. Thirty chest compression. He counted them out aloud. More breaths. His arms were burning and sweat was rolling down his back by the sixth or seventh round of chest compressions. He soon lost count. He didn't care. He wasn't going to stop until he literally collapsed from exhaustion. He didn't care if it was hopeless. He wasn't going to let Shiro go without a fight.

"Shiro please… I love you… please don't leave me again…" Keith whispered as he prayed with all his heart for one last miracle. That Shiro would come back to him one more time.

Keith didn't hear when they came in. He ignored the horrified gasps and calls of his name. He was too focused on his one task. His one purpose. To keep Shiro's heart beating until his own gave out. Nothing else mattered.

"Keith, you have to move away now," Allura's voice, or it might have been. He wasn't sure. Wasn't sure of anything. His mind might be playing tricks on him. He wasn't going to risk it.

"Let us help him, Keith," Coran, ever reasonable. Keith was far beyond listening to reason right now.

"Come on, buddy. You can stop, please," Lance? Maybe? No, no he couldn't stop. Shiro would die if he stopped!

Someone touched his bare shoulder. It was probably supposed to be comforting. Keith snarled as vicious as a wild animal shaking off the hand, but he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. No matter what. He was grabbed him next. Hands no longer gentle and they pulled him away. Keith howled and thrashed but he was too weak to fight them off.

"No! NO! Shiro! No! Let me go! I have to… SHIRO!"

Someone was crying. He didn't know who. He didn't care.

Coran and Pidge were kneeling down beside Shiro. The former was placing something over Shiro's mouth. Shiro's chest began to rise and fall on its own in a slow mechanical rhythm. Next two small round disks were placed on Shiro's chest.

"Clear!" Pidge yelled. Shiro's whole body lurched. Keith yelled and fought harder against the hands holding him back. He even managed to bite one of them, finally causing them to let him go with a harsh curse. But before he could get away he was wrapped in a tight bear hug. Keith kicked and thrashed in rage, screaming Shiro's name over and over.

Allura watched him, her hands covering her mouth and tears streaming from her eyes.

"It's ok. It's ok, Keith. They're helping him," Hunk's voice whispered into his ear over and over. Attempting to console him even though he was inconsolable. Lance stood by cradling his bleeding hand, but he didn't seem angry. He looked scared, his gaze flickering between Keith and Shiro. Like he didn't know who he was more worried for.

"I've got a pulse! We need to get him back to the castle now! Hunk!" Coran yelled. Keith froze at those words, and then sagged in Hunk's arms, his body finally giving out on him. Alive… Shiro was alive… At first Hunk seemed reluctant to release him, but then Lance was there.

"I've got him," the blue paladin reassured and when Hunk passed him over, Lance quickly wrapped Keith in a blanket and hugged him. Practically cradled against the other man's chest, Keith watched as Hunk rushed over to Shiro's side and lifted him as gently as if he were made of glass.

"Shiro…" Keith whimpered, and he felt gentle fingers running soothingly through his hair. A surprisingly comforting voice whispered in his ear.

"They're going to help him. He's going to be okay," Lance whispered over and over.

It was at that point Keith lost consciousness.


	14. Chapter 14

The day that Shiro returned to Earth had begun just as unremarkable as the day he had left.

Keith had been out in the desert since dawn scouting a new set of caves he had discovered with the carvings of the blue lion. He knew he was getting close to finding whatever he was looking for. He could feel it. Some days it was the only thing that got him out of bed in the morning anymore. It felt like if he could only understand what these carvings meant, everything would make sense. Maybe his whole damned pitiful life might finally have some meaning.

The drawings were important. He felt a pull to them in a way he couldn't explain. Keith had never been much of a believer in a higher power, or whatever, but it certainly felt like _something_ was leading him. That day more than ever before, it was calling to him. Something like… anticipation thrummed through the air down to his very bones.

It was that feeling that made him stay out in the desert far later than he usually would have. His stomach was rumbling by the time he finally forced himself to call it a night and start back to where he'd parked the hover bike on a plateau near the caves. He'd almost made it to the bike when a change in the air made him freeze. It was like a giant tuning fork had been struck and he could feel it vibrating down into the very core of his being.

_They're coming._

Who?

That's when he looked up into the sky and saw the meteor. He watched it fall. Saw it crash. He jumped on the bike and flew faster than he had ever flown before. He felt deep down in his soul that this, finally, was what he had been waiting for. That this was why he had stayed. He would finally find the answers he was looking for…

By the time he made it to the crash site, Galaxy Garrison was already there. Keith was shocked to see that what had fallen from the sky wasn't in fact a meteor. It was a ship… one like he'd never seen before.

He hid behind some rocks and took out his binoculars to get a better look. He still couldn't see what was going on very well. He had to get closer.

A plan had quickly solidified in Keith's mind. The charges he kept in his pack in case he needed to clear large rocks in the caves provided the distraction he needed. He was able to fly the hover bike close to the isolation tent without being seen. He'd reacted completely on instinct, showing no mercy as he took out anyone who'd stood in his way. When he finally saw his face, touched him, he could barely believe it.

Shiro…

Keith quickly cut the bindings holding the older man to the table. Shiro was out cold. Keith didn't know what those men were doing to him and he didn't care. All he knew was that he needed to get Shiro out of there. He had barely managed to lift the heavier man over his shoulder when the other teens arrived. Keith had no idea who they were, even though apparently he had known them, or at least one of them, from Galaxy Garrison. Then again, he didn't remember much from his last few months at the Garrison. But whoever they were, they were helping him rescue Shiro so he had been willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. For now.

The escape from the Galaxy Garrison forces passed in something of a blur. Once they were out of sight, Keith took the long way back to his home, doubling back a few times just to make sure they weren't being followed. By the time they reached his shack it was a few hours before dawn.

The big one, Hunk, helped him carry Shiro into his bedroom and lay him down on Keith's bed. Keith reluctantly left Shiro there to see to his… guests. Lance had already claimed his couch, sprawling out on the old ratty thing like he owned it and talked a mile a minute reminiscing about their escape from the Garrison forces. The shorter one, Pidge, stood quietly aside, shuffling from foot to foot as he (she?) looked somewhat nervously around what passed for Keith's living room.

Keith couldn't really blame her. He'd be nervous too if he were in her place. He wasn't all that thrilled to have so many people in his home either. He'd been alone for so many months now; having so many people in his space was really setting him on edge. It manifested in his slightly impatient tone.

"I guess you guys can crash out here if you want. There are some blankets in there," He said, pointing towards some plastic bins in the corner. He noticed Hunk eyeing his pitiful excuse for a kitchen longingly, "I don't have much, but help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen."

"Sleep? How am I supposed to sleep after that! I'm pumped!" Lance practically crowed and Keith winced.

"I don't care what you do, just be quiet," Keith snapped and then turned back to his bedroom, shutting the door before he could hear what the other boy had to say in reply. Once he was alone with Shiro he relaxed a little and for a long time he simply stared at the sleeping man in awe.

He was alive. Somehow… he was alive. He'd come back…

Keith approached the bed slowly and sat down on the edge carefully so he would not disturb the other man. Even though he probably didn't have to worry about that. The sedatives probably still hadn't worn off yet, if Lance hadn't woken Shiro up by now.

He looked… different. Very different. He was paler. The lines around his eyes and mouth were more pronounced, like he had aged far more than the two years he'd been gone. Keith's fingers reached out cautiously to touch the scar that cut across Shiro's face through the bridge of his nose. It was a clean, if thick, line. Made by something sharp. How had Shiro gotten it? His hair… Keith's fingers drifted up to slide through the pure white fringe falling over Shiro's forehead. Extreme stress could sometimes cause someone's hair to turn white. And his arm…

"What happened to you?"

Keith remained sitting beside Shiro for the rest of the night; not daring to sleep in case he woke to find it had all been a dream. He got up only once to check on his guests. They were all sprawled out on his couch and floor in the living room, dead to the world. Keith took the time to use the restroom and start the coffee maker. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

When Keith returned to his bedroom he found Shiro tossing his head back and forth on the pillow, moaning softly in his sleep as though he were in pain. Without thinking, Keith rushed over to the other man's side, and placed a hand on Shiro's shoulder, intending to shake him awake.

What happened next was almost too fast for Keith to follow. Shiro's eyes snapped open and the older man grabbed Keith's wrist with his metal hand. The pressure was so tight that Keith felt the bones beginning to grind together. But it was Shiro's face, more than the painful grip, which made Keith cry out in surprise. Shrio's eyes were wild and he was practically snarling with fury. Keith had never, ever, seen Shiro so angry… so vicious…

"Shiro!" Keith cried out in fear, and thankfully that seemed to snap Shiro out of whatever nightmare was gripping him. Shiro blinked as he came back to himself, his face contorting in confusion first, and then shocked horror. He quickly released Keith.

Keith stumbled away from the other man and cradled his bruising wrist against his chest.

"Keith?" Shiro whispered, his voice sounded so small, so unsure, all Keith wanted to do was run over to the other man and hug him. But the recent violence made him wary of doing so.

"It's me," He said instead, trying to sound as reassuring as he could, while Shiro's eyes darted around his room like a trapped animal, "It's okay. You're safe."

"Where am I?"

"You're in my home. You're safe," Keith repeated. Shiro finally seemed to accept this and turned his attention back to Keith fully. He seemed to finally notice the way Keith was cradling his arm and looked down at his own metal arm in horror, like it didn't belong to him.

"Did I…?"

"It's fine."

"I hurt you…"

"No. I'm fine," Keith lied, and finally gave in to his need to approach Shiro again. Before he could come within a few feet of the other man, Shiro's whole body seized up and he backed away from Keith as far as he could without falling off the bed entirely.

"No!" Shiro snapped, his eyes wide like a frightened animal and Keith froze in his tracks.

"Shiro…"

"Don't. I… I can't… I… just go. I need… a minute. I just… Please…" Shiro babbled, running his fingers through his hair and roughly tugging on it in a way that had to hurt. Keith didn't know what to do, so he simply nodded, backing away from Shiro slowly towards the door.

"Ok, I'll… I'll be in the kitchen. I managed to save some of your stuff from the Garrison before… they're in those boxes. I'll go…" He said softly. He waited a moment by the door just in case Shiro changed his mind. He didn't. So Keith left.

He felt cold and numb as he walked to the kitchen. He automatically filled a bag with ice from the freezer and pressed it to his swelling wrist, somehow not really feeling the pain. He felt like he was suffocating. Two years… Keith never thought he would see him again… and now that Shiro had returned…

What possibly could have happened to him out there? Where had he been all this time? Whatever it was… it must have been horrible. The only reason Keith managed to resist crying was because he was afraid the others would wake, see him and ask questions. Questions he had no intention of answering.

Keith was startled out of his thoughts when he heard the back door open and close. He quickly rushed to look out the kitchen window. Shiro had changed and was standing outside, but thankfully he didn't seem intent on going anywhere. He was just… standing there in the open, staring out over the desert towards the rising sun.

Keith felt a single tear slip down his cheek and he angrily wiped it away. He had to hold it together. Shiro was back. It didn't matter if he was different. Keith should just be grateful that he was back. Shiro didn't need him falling apart when the older man was obviously going through his own issues. Shiro needed him as a friend right now. Not as... anything else.

Shiro needed time. Keith would give him all the time he needed.

So Keith watched Shiro silently from the window for a good hour as the older man pulled himself together. Keith did the same. He didn't move until he heard the others beginning to stir in the living room. Keith picked up the jacket Shiro had given him so long ago and put it on to cover up his bruised wrist. He took a deep breath, put on a brave face, and went outside. When Shiro looked at him he appeared calm, even smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes. At least Shiro didn't pull away again when Keith touched him. Keith tried to return the smile, and neither of them mentioned the yawning gulf between them.

"It's good to have you back," Keith said, even though he felt like the Shiro was further away than ever.

"It's good to be back," the older pilot replied automatically, though even Keith could see Shiro didn't believe his own words and they were both thinking the same thing. That the Shiro who had left Earth two years ago had never, and might never, come back at all.

But Keith could wait. He could be patient. For however long Shiro needed.

* * *

 

When Keith woke up he was lying in his bunk in his room in the Castle of Lions. He's clean, dressed comfortably in a pair of light sleeping pants, and had that strange fuzzy feeling in his brain that told him he's been given the good drugs. He doesn't remember how he got here. The last thing he remembers…

"Shiro!" He practically shouted as he sat up quickly and immediately regretted it. Even with the drugs his entire body felt like it had been ripped apart and hastily thrown back together. There wasn't a single inch of him that didn't ache.

There's a loud snort beside his bed, and Keith's hand immediately darted underneath his pillow where he usually kept his knife. But it's not there, and he realized that was probably a good thing as Lance flailed a little bit before sitting up straight in the chair by his bed. The Blue Paladin had obviously fallen asleep in it at some point. They might not get along most of the time, but Keith didn't want to accidentally stab him. At least, not right this second.

"Oh, hey, you're awake. How you feeling, man?" Lance said, stifling a yawn behind his hand. Keith blinked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing in my room?"

"Well, someone had to keep an eye on you. We've been taking turns. Are you thirsty? Do you want some water or something?" Lance asked him, his expression full of concern and… Keith's not used to this. At least, not from Lance, and it was making him nervous.

"Taking turns… how long have I been asleep?"

"Oh, about four days now. You were pretty banged up. Here, why don't you have some water," Lance got up to get him a glass from the pitcher on the bedside table, but Keith's wasn't listening anymore.

Four days… Shiro…

Keith threw aside the blankets covering him and practically leapt out of the bunk. His entire body protested, in fact, his knees began to give out beneath his weight almost immediately. He would have ended up on the floor in a painful heap if Lance weren't suddenly there catching him.

"Woah! Take it easy!"

"Where's Shiro? Is he okay?" Keith demanded as he clung to Lance's shirt for balance. They're standing very close so he got a very clear look at the blue paladin's face when he mentioned Shiro's name. The way Lance nearly flinched… and Keith felt his entire body go cold and numb.

"Were is he?" He whispered.

"Keith…"

"Where is he!"

"The infirmary."

Keith pulled away from Lance sharply and started for the door despite the fact that he could barely stand. Immediately he felt the other paladin grab his arm and Keith all but snarled at Lance.

"Don't touch me!"

Lance immediately yanked his hand back and Keith caught sight of the bandage wrapped around the blue paladin's hand. He recalls when Hunk and Lance had tried to restrain him before in the Black Lion. Keith had actually bitten him! As much as Keith knew he should feel guilty for that, and a lot of other things, all he could feel right now was his fear for Shiro.

Lance held up his hands in a placating manner and didn't try to touch him again.

"Look, I'll take you there, all right? But you should at least get some real pants on first," Lance suggested.

Realizing that Lance wasn't going to try to stop him from going to Shiro, Keith relaxed a little, and reluctantly nods. He changed as quickly as possible, needing the other paladin's help more than he would like to admit.

Once he is finally dressed, Lance didn't try to stop him again. Instead the other paladin stayed close to him as they walked towards the infirmary together, ready in case he needed help. Later on Keith might feel gratitude for it. But right now all he can think about is Shiro.

When they reached the infirmary, Coran was there and he looked up at them both with no small amount of surprise.

"Keith? What are you doing out of bed?" the Altean gave Lance a pointed look and left whatever he was in the middle of working on at one of the lab stations to approach them. But Keith wasn't paying attention to the Altean. His focus was solely the healing pod where he could barely make out Shiro's form inside.

Keith pushed past Coran and rushed over to the healing pod.

"Keith, wait!"

Keith froze when he came to stand in front of the pod, his hand hovering just over the particle barrier separating him from Shiro without touching it. Shiro… his eyes were closed as though in sleep but his chest wasn't moving. His skin was nearly completely white except for the black glowing veins that had spread even further than the last time Keith saw him, covering most of Shiro's body and even his face.

Keith made a choked sound and stumbled away from the pod.

"Shiro…"

"He's not dead," Coran's voice was gentle behind him but it was not reassuring. Keith slowly turned around to stare at the Altean, uncaring of the tears streaming down his face. Lance was standing by the door, also crying and Coran appeared close to tears as well.

"What?"

"We had to put him into cryogenic sleep. The poison in his bloodstream… I've never seen anything like it. It's powerful druid magic and more like a virus the way it's multiplying and spreading through his body. The healing pod was slowing its progress but… We couldn't reverse it. This was the only thing we could do to stop it. Like this, he won't get any worse but… Allura and I have been working to try to find a cure… in time maybe… I'm sorry."

Coran's voice trailed off and Keith nodded numbly.

"Keith…"

He turned away from both men to stare at the healing pod and the man inside who was now all but lost to him. Again.

"We'll give you some time," Coran said softly and he heard the door to the infirmary open and close. Later he would be grateful for the consideration, but now the only thing he could feel was a crushing grief that sent him to his knees. Curled on the floor next to the healing pod Keith sobbed brokenly for the love of his life he had lost yet again.

In time... maybe they could be together again. Until then he would wait. He would always wait. Shiro had always been worth waiting for.


End file.
